Life after Divorce

Be back soon

2009-01-12T15:33:00.001-08:00

I'm in a funk; a major funk. I have so much that I need to write, but everytime I sit down at the computer the words never come. Right now my life seems to be upside down and I'm kicking like a turtle to get up and walking again. So, bare with me and I will be back soon. I'll probably start right where I left off (Christmas), so you will have to read old news.

Dreams

2009-01-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

I am a vivid dreamer. Usually I wake up and can recite everything that happened in my made up fairy tale to pin point detail. Maybe it's a gift or maybe it's just that I have an over active imagination.

My current dream is I'm the 800 pound woman and bedridden. My mother is forced to lift my fat rolls to bathe me, helps me use the bathroom, and brings me food throughout the day. One day a wall in our house is cut out in order for the paramedics to save me. I am somehow wheeled onto a forklift and being driven through downtown Houston. On the way to a fat clinic....I die.

What does this mean? The only conclusion I can come to is that food is killing. I'm an addict....a food addict. Food is like crack (not that I know what crack does to you) and I can't ever get enough. I'm one Twinkie away from being the 800 pound woman who is bedridden. I'm one Ho-Ho away from killing myself. It really is depressing!

My sweet Lorelai

2009-01-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

Lorelai is staying with Aunt Melissa and Chase for the night! She is my only niece and the love of my life. I don't keep her nearly enough, and when I do she is spoiled rotten. The biggest laugh I got was watching her run after the dogs. She would run, stand at the edge of the kitchen, and giggle with delight. Watching her enjoyment made me laugh.

Lorelai's favorite toy is the dog cage. She insists on sitting in there. Or putting her baby doll in there when it's bed time. What is the fascination with a cage? It does make for cute photos though!

We went stopped by Walmart to pick up some much needed items and she crashed. Chase and I took turns in holding her. Seeing Chase hold my precious niece was indescribable. It made me wonder what it would be like if we have children. Chase can be such a hard ass, but watching him with Lorelai brings out a side I'm not used to seeing. He is gentle, loving, and so caring. I love seeing it.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

Every year I make resolutions for the bringing in of a new year, but this year is going to be different. My only resolution is to not make any. I make the same promises every year. I will lose weight, be a better mom, spend more time with the kids, be more patient, etc. Every year I feel like I don't accomplish any of those goals, especially the weight thing. In turn I feel like a failure and right now I refuse to feel like that. Now that I think about it, maybe I'll make one resolution.

1. Be happy with who I am. (for once in my life)

Happy Birthday Devin

2008-12-29T17:33:00.000-08:00

Today this wonderful little boy turns 5! I pity anyone who is born near a holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Especially with Christmas, it seems as though a birthday is rolled into it. Planning a party is out of the question. We will be throwing a party at the house in January so everyone can get over the holiday cheer.

Tonight we let Devin open one gift (the others he will open during his party). Then we went to dinner with the rest of the family to his favorite place, Applebee's. Devin loved the attention while the wait staff sang "Happy Birthday" to him. I hope he enjoyed his day!

Christmas with the boys

2008-12-27T17:55:00.000-08:00

My family and friends have all asked why I get the boys on Christmas Day. Typically in a divorce one parent has an odd year and, you should assume, the other parent has the even year. Jimmy has long ago decided that he does not want the boys on Christmas morning. He has chosen not to see the joy on their faces as they realize Santa came to visit them while they slept.

At first no reason was given to his disinterest, but with some patience and diligent probing the truth came out. He believes child support pays for Santa. He does not feel he is required to buy them anything whatsoever. This is the second year that they have received nothing on Christmas from their dad. It doesn’t take much effort to buy a couple of gifts from the dollar store, but apparently that is too much to ask for.

I’m happy that they are able to spend Christmas morning with me. He will have a lot of explaining to do when the boys are older. I’m curious how he will explain it to them.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T23:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day and the house is a buzz. This morning, surprisingly, I was the first one to wake up. As soon as the kids heard me scurrying around they jumped out of bed. I love seeing their faces when they notice all the presents under the tree. Garrett always checks the plate of cookies to see that Santa ate all of them. Forget the presents, Santa didn't come unless the cookies are gone.

It was alittle bittersweet because we were missing Devin that morning. This year is the ex's year to have them on Christmas morning. We only get them for 3 hours that night. It sucks to have to share! You might be asking yourself why I had the boys if it was the ex's year. More on that at another time because that is a post in itself.

After presents it was time to get to work. We invited family and friends over for dinner and I was cooking all the sides. Seriously, what was I smoking when I thought that was a good idea? In the end, everyone liked the food (or so they said). I left the dishes on the counter for at least 3 days. Yeah, I know that's gross.

The kids made out like bandits. We all gained about 10 pounds from all the food we ate. There was no family drama (other than the exes). I'd say that classifies as a good Christmas.

Everyone needs Sponge Bob Operation!

Doesn't look thrilled....

He made the mess, he has to clean it up, right?

The night before Christmas Eve

2008-12-23T17:20:00.001-08:00

Twas the night before Christmas Eve and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The kiddos have been gone for almost a week now and the house is tremendously quiet. Oh bless the quietness to return my sanity; the greatest Christmas present of all. Garrett and Jacob are returning home tomorrow morning while Devin is only allowed to grace us with his presence on Christmas Day. It's sad that we will only have him for 3 hours, but we've got to make the best of it.

I've had my hands full for the past two days. We are getting ready to host Christmas dinner at our house this year. The first time EVER! We will have roughly 12 people here and I'm trying to get the house presentable. The shopping is done but the hard part is still staring me in the face; wrapping the 40 gifts all stashed in the closet.

And before I forget, I used the infamous line "I've fallen and I can't get up" this afternoon. I've been cleaning carpets all day and took one step on the tile. You know what happened next. My legs went in front of me and my ass was on the floor before I could correct myself. HOLY COW! I seriously sat there for 15 minutes in shock. I probably would have sat there for another 15 minutes, but the dog came over to lick at the pee puddle beneath. Hey, I was scared and shocked....I couldn't help any other bodily functions!

Pictures of Doom

2008-12-16T17:09:00.000-08:00

I hate taking pictures with Santa. I hate sitting in the lines with 50 million snot nose little kids, touching everything along the way, only to have my kids walk up behind them and rub their little hands in someone else's boogers. What do I hate most though? The moms who insist that their crying 2 year old will get over it and take a good picture. "Just take one more picture." Look lady, take the picture with the kid screaming and move on! That's why the line is wrapped around the mall 3 times. I'm cranky, hungry, and want to get the hell out of here.

So, when we take the 3 boys to the mall and have their pictures taken with Santa, Jacob decides to be a brat. First he starts crying because he has to go to the bathroom. The infamous crotch grab. Where do little boys get this from? As soon as he sits next to Santa, his eye starts to itch. He refuses to smile because he insists that his eye itches. I pull him up and we came home with this.

Yup, Devin took a picture all by himself. Jacob ruined it for Garrett and I was pissed enough to pull both of them off Santa's lap and leave. Take note mommy who stands there for 30 minutes....take the picture of the screaming kid or leave!

It's "snowing" in Texas

2008-12-10T15:24:00.001-08:00

Yee Haw! It's down right snowing here in Houston. Ok, maybe it's not SNOW like what you see up north, but we like to call the flurry little ice thingamybobs falling from the sky actual "snow". Sure, it melts within 2 seconds of touching the ground. Give me a break, it's the closest thing these native Texans get to snow.

What is this white stuff?

It's too cold on my tongue.

I'll try sticking out my tongue.

It's too damn cold out here. I hate it!

My car with the little amount of snow we got.

I must be doing something right

2008-12-09T12:22:00.000-08:00

As a mom you are always concerned about the way you raise your children. Especially being a single mom with 2 little boys. Today was confirmation that I must be doing something right.

The other day I received a note in Garrett's bag saying the school was having a "Secret Santa Toy Shop". Garrett begged for money so he could go buy "stuff". It was hard to protest (even though I'm having issues with the school and money....different post). When he got home that day, he had a bag full of presents. One for each member of the family, including himself. Instead of spending all the money I gave him on himself, he decided to buy everyone one gift for Christmas.

We sat in my bedroom with the door shut while he showed me everything he bought. I told him I wanted mine to be a surprise and not to show me. Thankfully it was in a seperate bag so I couldn't peak. He picked out the wrapping paper and I wrapped the presents. I can't wait for everyone to open up the presents on Christmas Day.

He is growing up so fast and he is proving to be a wonderful young man. I know I'm doing something right for him to think of others before himself. Especially when a room full of toys are staring you in the face!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-08T19:36:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Fun with Gingerbread

2008-12-07T12:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight I took on the task of letting the boys decorate some form of gingerbread structure. Garrett chose the Santa sleigh, Devin chose the train, and Jacob chose the house. I've done these kits for the past couple of years and love them. They give you everything you need including directions. How can it go wrong? Ha, everything can go wrong but thankfully nothing major happened. This year though the train proved to be the most difficult. It didn't matter how much icing I stuck on the thing, it would lean over. In the end, it turned out ok.

Instead of posting the 50 pictures I took throughout the night, I'll spare you and post a slide show.

Nose to the grind stone

2008-12-02T13:26:00.001-08:00

So, as everyone should know....I'm looking for a job. I've been on too many job interviews to count and have filled out so many applications that I think I have carpel tunnel syndrome. I was looking through Craigslist at the employment section and came across this ad.

Administrative/Personal assistant needed for the President of a small Construction/Engineering company.
- Minimum 5+ years of experience
- Knowledge of MS office, Word, Excel & Typing
- Have pleasant phone voice, professional, upbeat and freindly
- Construction/Engineering company work experience will be preferred
- This position will require to keep schedules and assist President with various personal task and run errands as needed
- Job offers Paid vacation, subsidised Health benefits and Performance Bonus, 90 days after hire - Background check is required prior to employment E-mail resumes and Photo (if possible) to xxxxxx@onepointinc.com

As I'm reading the requirements I'm thinking that I'm a pretty good candidate; UNTIL I got to "E-mail resumes and Photo". Are you freaking serious? Why would anyone need to see a photo attached with your resume? I'm not applying to be a SEXretary. Why not just be honest and say "If you have big boobs and are willing to please your boss, please apply now. If you are overweight, ugly, or actually have any qualifications for this job, please don't bother". I'm outraged and on the verge of emailing the listed address only to ask why a picture is preferred. I have to calm down first.

Seriously, what was I thinking?!?

2008-12-01T10:51:00.000-08:00

A friend of Chase's is a manager for a family entertainment center near our house; it has putt-putt golf, an arcade, bumper boats, little rides, and go-carts. He offered our family free passes for the day (a $125 value) and we quickly accepted. With much coaxing of good behavior from the kids, we finally loaded up the car and went.

When we arrived at our destination the kids were bouncing with excitement. The first thing we did was go-carts. They have the adult carts with a bigger track and off to the side a track set up for the youngsters with smaller carts. The kids were about to pee in their pants while waiting in line.

Jacob and Devin are the lucky two that get to go first. Look at these faces.

Priceless, right? Not even one lap around the track and there is a pile up involving both boys. Everyone is laughing....no harm done. Jacob takes off again and as Jacob comes around the corner I see blood all over his face. "STOPPPPPPPPP Jacob," I scream as he drives past me smiling at least twice. Instead of letting go of the gas, he decides to crash into the side of the track.

I pull him out of the cart and rush him into the bathroom. I kept asking him if his face hurt. There was blood running from his nose and his mouth. He says quite simply, "Nope." As soon as we walk into the bathroom and he sees his reflection in the mirror he says, "My nose hurts. And my eye hurts. And my mouth hurts." Oh geez! When everything was said and done, he ended up being fine. We stayed the rest of the night sans the kiddie go-carts. Each of them did get to ride in the family go-carts with Chase and I could see the pure adrenaline in their faces. They loved it.

Seriously, what was I thinking letting my 4 year old drive a go-cart by himself? This is the same child who pays no attention whatsoever when we are walking in public and ends up bumping into at least 20 people in an hour. The same kid who refuses to listen to anything anybody has to say. The same kid who gets his butt whooped when he gets into trouble and 5 minutes later decides to do it again.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T14:40:00.000-08:00

It is evident that today is Thanksgiving, with my extended belly full of food, wanting to pass out at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and trying to think of things that I'm truly thankful for this year. It's not really hard to think of things to be thankful for, but I feel I should look deep within myself instead of what comes naturally.

1. I'm thankful for my family. This is including everyone that is close to me and who I cherish. If I had to list everyone then it would take all day and I'd lose what little readers I actually had by name 10.

2. I'm thankful for my friends. They pick me up with I'm down, laugh when I need it, give advice that is usually better than my own, make me feel sane, and are the bestest friends anyone could ever ask for.

3. I'm thankful for Chase. We've had more ups than downs in our relationship. We've cried together and laughed together, he is my rock when I need it, he is my other half. I truly believe this will be the first of many Thanksgivings together.

4. I'm thankful for this blog and the ability to write. I've always felt that if I didn't have writing as an outlet, I would go insane. The bottled up feelings I carry with me would explode and probably at the most inappropriate time. This is the only place I can be myself. The only place I can tell everything too. It's my diary and I'm allowing everyone to read it.

5. I'm thankful for reality tv. Peeking into the lives of others makes me realize that my family isn't as dysfunctional as I once thought.

6. I'm thankful for all my past mistakes and failures. If I didn't make mistakes or have failures to learn from, I wouldn't be the person I am today. With every "wrong" choice I made, I became a stronger more intelligent woman.

I will end on that note. From our family to yours we hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

Ho-Hawk

2008-11-25T05:19:00.000-08:00

Chase saves me about $60 bucks a month by cutting the boys hair. He does an awesome job. This month we are sporting "ho-hawks". I have to say, I'm loving it!

Trophies + Salvation = Baseball is OVER!

2008-11-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning was our last tee-ball game. I'm happy that I no longer have to wake up before the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. Especially to sit on cold, wet, dirty bleachers. The only way to make those bleachers worth sitting on is if they installed heat warmers for my big rear end, hired someone to clean all the dirt off, and had comfy cushions so it felt like I was sitting at home watching a game. Yeah right!

This afternoon they handed out gold plastic trophies to the kiddos. All 3 boys were so excited and weren't in a big hurry to leave. I, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get out of there. Because we went with a church league the trophy cermony had a small devotional at the beginning. No problem. Then they started giving the whole speech on being saved. If you weren't saved, then say this prayer, raise your hand, and we will come talk to you.

My kids are all followers. Especially being 4, almost 5, and 5-1/2, they tend to jump off that bridge with everyone else. It's not that I don't want them to accept Jesus as their personal savior BUT I want them to do it on their own time. Not because the kid next to them raised their hand. We left without anyone professing they prayed for salvation. Amen!

Lorelai turns 2

2008-11-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

My beautiful little neice turned 2 this week. Today we celebrated her birthday. The little booger knew when you wanted to take a picture of her. Instead of staying still and smiling, she kept running the other way. This is the only good picture I got of her.

Happy 2nd birthday dear Lorelai!!!

Twilight

2008-11-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

The big buzz around here is the Twilight book series. My sister-in-law introduced me to the books maybe 2 weeks ago. After I read the first book, I was hooked. I guess it's a good thing I was sick and had the excuse to lay in bed, wearing only pjs, with a book constantly under my nose. I read through all 4 books in 10 days and only wish there were more. Maybe my family likes that I'm done so I can spend some time with them. If you were looking for something good, I highly recommend them.

MIA

2008-11-20T06:59:00.000-08:00

This week I've been curled up in bed waiting for death. I highly doubt it was the flu, but rather just a wicked case of a cold brought on by cleaning the bathroom! No, I'm not joking. Every single time I clean the bathroom with chemicals, I get sick. I try my hardest to not breathe in the chemicals. I open the door, turn the vent on, take 50 million breaks, and wear a mask. All my precautions go unnoticed.

Chase swears that he will be the one to clean the bathrooms from now on. My evil mind is working on overdrive now. How can I make myself sick from doing the laundry? Maybe the chemicals in Dawn will prevent me from doing the dishes. The dust in the vacuum cleaner makes my nose runny. HMMMMM!

The honeymoon is over

2008-11-11T05:10:00.000-08:00

Good morning kiddos! Today I'm going to talk about flatulence. Yes that means gas, farting, tuning up your butt trumpet, whatever you want to call it. It's been 1 year and 4 months that Chase and I have been together and in that time I've never let one go in front of him. That's a LONG time to hold in a fart and my tummy hurts now. Let it be known that yesterday was the end of our honeymoon because I ripped ass in front of him. He laughed it off until I couldn't stop. Then as nicely as he could he says, "Damn babe". Hey what do you expect to happen when it's been held for over a year? It's like eating potato chips.....once you pop you just can't stop.

Ok, now I'm laughing because that was funny!

I thought it ended at 2

2008-11-09T09:17:00.000-08:00

I thought the terrible two's ended at some point. You know, I'm envisioning the big 3rd birthday party and magically all the trantrums, the screaming, the whining, the fighting, the everything goes away. They are 4 and 5 and it is just getting worse. Everyday I go to bed wishing that things would be different the next day. The kids would get over their funk. And everyday I wake up to same thing. And everyday I scream and yell. And everyday I am the "mean mommy". And everyday I feel like crying until I can't cry anymore. And everyday I said I've had enough.

And everyday I wonder what I've done wrong.

Merry Maid at your service

2008-11-08T13:00:00.000-08:00

Today I got a new vacuum cleaner and I'm in love. The other two we had just pushed the dirt around the room. Sure it made it look like the room was vacuumed when you see the back and forth lines, but it still felt dirty. This is the first time I was enthusiastic about cleaning just to see what my new "toy" would pick up.

To my surprise, I made probably 15 trips to the trash so I could dump out all of the dirt. Some rooms took 3 trips!! Everytime I marched to the kitchen I made it a point to show Chase. "Look, this is what was in the carpet!" I'm sure he was over it by the 2nd time I showed him my treasures. It took my shoes off to feel what a clean carpet felt like. It's amazing! Once Gen picks up her puppy, it's time for a good steam clean. YIPPEE!

Does anybody need their house vacuumed? Just call me Merry Maid.

The puppies are gone

2008-11-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

Roly Poly fighting with Chase

Before Nessa even gave birth to the puppies our friends and family said "I want a girl/boy". All the puppies were gone before they were even born. That was way to easy! When we started calling people asking to come pick up puppies, they backed out one by one. Only 2 people have stayed true to their commitment.

So, this past week I have slowly found new homes for all the puppies. Today I watched Roly Poly (the last girl) go to a new family and once I was in the house I cried like a baby. You see, Roly was MY puppy. She was the only one I attached myself to because I thought we were keeping her. It was so hard to watch her leave. I know she is going to a great family BUT it's still hard. Hopefully, the family stays in contact with me so I can watch her grow up.

We have one puppy left, Scrappy CoCo. He is leaving next week with Gen when she gets back from Germany. The house is going to be way to quiet. I would never imagine that I would miss taking care of 5 puppies, 1 momma dog, 1 pissed off cat, and 3 kids.

Admitting when your wrong

2008-11-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

My parents threw a dinner party on Saturday and the featured guests were my Aunt and husband (my Mom's sister). I figured it would have been awkward after the surprise dinner for Grandma and the fact we haven't talked in almost 8 years. Dinner was ok but awkward in a different way. They both talked horrible about my cousins (her 3 children). Everything they did wrong growing up, what they are doing wrong now, and how they were fed up with it. Nothing was positive!

Today my dad and I emailed back and forth about the weekend. I asked if he and mom talked so horrible about us to their friends. If everything they had to say about us was a bad memory. His response was surprising. See below...

No, we do not talk shit about our children. We all 4 had our own problems. Any problems we had with you and Robert were mostly me and moms fault. We were too busy worrying about our own shit, our own problems, or our jobs, and we pretty much didn’t pay much attention to much else. That is the fault of the parents. And I admit it. learn from that with your own children. That once you turn your back on your kid, especially a teenager, than you are in for trouble. I did that to my parents because they didn’t care, mom did it to her mom, and you did it to us. Fair is fair. *end of email*

If you knew anything about my dad or the relationship we had while I was a teenager you would be shocked and surprised that he admitted doing something wrong. I'm going to learn from his mistakes and take his words of wisdom to heart. I think this is first piece of advice he has ever given and I'm thankful!

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

I didn't think we were going to have the kiddos this Halloween since it falls on the other parent's weekend. Neither of the ex's wanted to pay for costumes or take the boys trick-or-treating, so it was up to Chase and myself. Garrett was Bumblebee from the Transformers movie, Devin was Batman, and Jacob was Superman. We went around one big block in about 45 minutes and the boys came home with a bag FULL of candy. They hit the jackpot. The next day they went to the other parents on a sugar high. We are evil!!!!

I hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween.

Happy Halloween from the super heroes.

Trick or Treat!

Chase's true feelings about Halloween

Parent/Teacher Conference

2008-10-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

I had my first parent/teacher conference today at school. Because of Garrett's previous Autism scare I was nervous how he was doing. You always want your children to excel and I was praying he was.

The positives first:
He is excellent in math and art! He loves to count the blocks and is doing well adding and subtracting. Where he got this quality from, I have no clue. I was horrible in math! When the other kids are having problems with math, he helps them. I love that! His art is amazing. He is such a creative little booger; he did get that quality from me. :) He is making friends and is a delight in the classroom.

The not so goods:
He needs work on creating or making up a story. He has an imagination but for some reason he can't draw a picture and tell a story about it when asked. All the children were tested on the alphabet and he only recognized 20 letters. That seems odd because he does well at home. We also have to work on his rhyming skills.

The teacher showed an example of what Garrett would have to read before being able to move up to 1st grade. HOLY CRAP! You are kidding me. When I was in Kindergarten we were able to move up just by being able to color inside the lines and use a pair of scissors. It's amazing how much it's changed just in 20+ years.

All in all, it was a positive meeting. He is doing well in some areas and need works in others. Not surprising. Garrett really likes going to school and I'm glad he has a great teacher.

Kids say the darnest things

2008-10-29T13:38:00.000-07:00

Today Garrett was in my room telling me about his day while I was changing clothes. My pants and shirt are balled up on the floor and I feel his hands on my "spare tire". He then says quite happily, "Momma, you have a big belly. It's so so so so so big." Thank you son! I appreciate you telling me this.

Then my bra comes off and I hear the gasp. Boy, you better keep your mouth shut! What was I thinking? "Momma, this boobie is big. This boobie is small." As he points to my uneven boobs. Can I slap him? Please?

That is the LAST time he is in the room with me while I undress. Maybe I need a tape with Ohhhs and Ahhhs to play everytime I stand before the mirror naked. That will be my confidence booster. LOL.

Moving on

2008-10-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today I helped my cousin pack her belongings and leave her husband. She has been toying with the idea for quite some time and finally made the decision to leave. She hired a lawyer and is preparing documents for a divorce. Her only reason for staying was because of their daughter. Not because she loved her husband, wanted to work things out, or felt guilty about leaving him. It was purely the guilt of her daughter not have a mother and father in the same house.

Is that really a life to live? Is that really what is best for her daughter? To see her mom and dad fight constantly. To see the unhappiness between them instead of love. Doesn't she deserve a happy mom and a happy home? Is divorce or seperation really going to mess her up for the rest of her life?

It's hard not to give my 2 cents because I don't want to force her into a decision she isn't ready to make. I had to make that decision on my own and for some reason it was quite easy. I'm not saying the road to divorce was easy (because it was the hardest thing I've had to do), but the actual decision was easy for me.

For now, I'm standing by whatever decision she makes. Whether it is to go through the divorce or go back to her husband. Do I want to see her go back? NO! But she is family and one of my best friends. All I want is her to happy.

Puppy food

2008-10-24T16:39:00.000-07:00

Here is an update on the puppies. They are almost 4 weeks old and growing like weeds. We have homes for 4 out of the 5 puppies. Today we took Nessa to the vet so she could get checked out and found she has an infection in one of her breasts. That means she goes on antibiotics and the puppies go on "solid" food. Basically, we take puppy food and make it mush. So far they are loving it and eating about 3 times a day. As you know they are only puppies, so over look the little pee pee spots on the towel!

Not quite sure what it is.

Chowing down!

It's better when you stand in it.

A total mess!

2008-10-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

The kids were gone this weekend and I swore I would tackle their pig stye that they call a room. I warned them before they left that if they didn't clean up I would be throwing away toys. Their idea of "clean" is piling everything into the closet and hoping the door shuts. Out of sight out of mind, right?

I ended up spending one full day cleaning and throwing away 2 full bags of toys. These weren't useable toys... they were broken, missing parts, missing limbs, etc. All the toys are in their proper places and I threatened death if they were moved to somewhere they didn't belong.

After pics

I love an organized room!

"You're not his mother"

2008-10-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

So, I'm the wicked witch. Devin's mother is mad at me because I'm spending time with her son. She claims that one night when she called and asked what he was doing he said, "I'm watching tv with my mom and dad." Chase and/or I are always in the room when he is on the phone and neither one of us remembers this. She also threw out that on another occasion she called and he didn't want to talk because he was "playing a game with Melissa". This is true.

She yells at Chase's Mom that "Melissa isn't his mother" and that isn't my intention. Devin has a mother and I'm not trying to replace her whatsoever. I feel as though I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I am mean to Devin I'll get chewed out. If I'm nice to Devin I am accused of trying to be his mother. We live in the same house, am I not supposed to show Devin any kind of attention? Ignore him when he walks in the room? Choose to play with only Garrett and Jacob and not include Devin?

I don't get it.

The Oil Ranch

2008-10-12T15:34:00.000-07:00

Another tradition I've started is taking the kids to a pumpkin patch in October. We've moved several times since the kids have been born, but by far the best pumpkin patch we've been to is at the Oil Ranch just outside of Houston. Not just for the pumpkins, but for the other activities involved. Horse back riding, a train ride, tee-pee's, petting zoo, an old fashion hay ride where you feed the cows, etc. We always have a fun time!

On the train

Jacob and his annual pumpkin shot.

Garrett and his annual pumpkin shot.

Uniforms

2008-10-10T05:39:00.000-07:00

The kids received their uniforms today and it's weird. They are growing up before my eyes! They should still be in rompers and crawling on the floor. I didn't think them playing sports would be so soon. Garrett is on the 5 year old team called the Astros. Jacob and Devin are on the 4 year old team called the Twins.

Pumpkins

2008-10-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have a tradition with the kiddos that every year they get to carve pumpkins for October. The pumpkins usually don't last until Halloween because I'm too anxious to buy them later in the month. This year Devin and Chase got to join in the fun. The kids picked out pumpkins, picked out their stencil of what they wanted carved, and then took out all of the pumpkin goop. Chase and I actually carved the pumpkins because who really wants to give a knife to a 5 year old and 2 four year olds? That's a trip to the ER waiting to happen!

Proud parents

2008-10-06T09:55:00.000-07:00

We are the proud new parents of 5 puppies; 3 girls and 2 boys. They are adorable! This came as quite a shock since 2 different vets said that Nessa was not pregnant. Low and behold her fat belly and big teats was due to having puppies inside. It was an amazing experience to see life entering this world. To see these puppies take their first breathe. No words can describe it!

We will be finding homes for all the puppies. We are still deciding if we are going to keep one. I nick named her Roly Poly because she is so fat and just rolls around instead of crawling. The boys have found homes already. YEAH! The search for good homes for the girl puppies is on!

A proud new mommy - after the first puppy!

They like to fall out of the kennel.

All 5 babies

Flowers

2008-10-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

Today Chase surprised me with flowers "just because". Days like these remind why I love him so much!

Babysitting

2008-10-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

I've had to babysit my cousin's little girl this week while she has been out of town. Brianna is a handful! My cousin's husband made the comment that I should start up a business watching children. Good heavens there is no chance in me ever doing that! I watched the clock constantly, hoping it was time for her to leave. She is in that normal 2 year old phase (how I do NOT miss that) and saying "no" means a temper tantrum. My patience was gone by Friday and I was never so happy to see every person under the age of 7 out of the house.

First practice

2008-09-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

Devin started tee-ball today. He has been so excited since registration and uniform sizing. Because of Ike, his first practice with The Twins (his team) was pushed back one week. You know, who really wants to go outside to play when you have to deal with picking up after a hurricane?

Anyway, Garrett and Jacob were not registered this year because I missed the deadline. I didn't want to ask my parents for the money even though they offered. My Mom chewed me out for missing the date and not taking their money. Maybe I'm weird, but I feel awful having to accept money from my parents.

When we arrived at practice I asked if people could sign up late. The coordinator said yes (with a $10 late fee). Devin's coach even let the boys get in a practice even though we haven't paid yet. All 3 boys had a blast! The coach was really good with 11 four year old boys. They were all over the field and by the end of the hour everyone was ready to go.

Of coarse I had my camera. Here are the boys in action. Enjoy!

Garrett with a swing and a miss!

Devin makes contact!

Jacob needs alittle help from Coach Mike.

Oatmeal cookies

2008-09-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Before I begin I just want to warn you that graphic pictures will be shown. Proceed with caution.

So, the infamous oatmeal cookies were made for our neighbors as a thank you. I went this morning to their front door, rang the bell, and received no answer. The cookies returned to the kitchen table while I took Garrett to school. 2 hours go by and I see our neighbor mowing the lawn. I run to the kitchen and pick up the cookies. As I'm walking to the door, I notice ants. ANTS FREAKING ATE THE COOKIES! Millions of ants swarmed the plate. (Since the storm and having to open all the windows and doors we have bugs.)

I threw the cookies in a trash bag and cried. Yes, it was one of those days. The day went on with the trash bag sitting in our bedroom. I was in the midst of throwing out trash from the bathroom, emptying the vacuum bag, and left the bag in our room on the floor. Jacob and I went to pick Garrett up from school.

I opened the door to find this.....

And after some investigation I found this....

And this was the consequence....

#1 - At least she pooped on the tile floor. #2 - At least she pooped far enough from the door that I didn't smear it all over the place when I opened the door. #3 - I love this dog even though she ate all the oatmeal cookies and pooped on the floor.

Days 9 - 13 Combined

2008-09-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

We finally got power back on day 13 (Thursday afternoon) almost a full 2 weeks without power. I did not ride it through the entire two weeks at home though. By Monday I was driving to my parent's, who had lights and A/C. It's amazing that when you are accustomed to no A/C how cold everything seems to be. I froze my butt off!

Once we made it to my parent's house things didn't seem as horrible anymore. That's why I combined the remainder of the days. People in Houston still do not have power (including Chase's parents). Centerpointe seems to be moving fast in reconnecting service, but not fast enough.

I made homemade cookies for the neighbors before I left. They were delicious. Hopefully, the neighbors think so too. They really helped out through this time and I can't say thank you enough. People hardly get to know their neighbors because of privacy issues or fear, but I'm grateful that we got to know what wonderful people they are.

Now is the task of cleaning up the house. We had mold grow on things that I thought couldn't grow mold. The house itself stinks. I feel like scrubbing everything down with bleach. I was happy to run the dishwasher this morning and to start the laundry. Can you believe I missed cleaning? Things are on there way back to normalcy. I can't wait!

Update on the party with pictures

2008-09-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

My Grandmother did not tell us to get the hell out. Instead she chose to ignore us. I don't know which is worse. Ultimately, I regret going (even if it was a free meal). The only person who chose to talk to us was my uncle Jimmy. My 2 aunts spoke briefly to us and that seemed forced. They were constantly looking for a way out of the conversation.

Even though things were uncomfortable, I had a good time with what I consider my family. See the pictures below.

My neice Lorelai and Garrett

Chase and Me

My cousin, Amie, and her daughter Brianna.

My brother, Robert, and his wife, Stacy.

The 3 men in my life that I adore. (I wish Devin was with us)

My beautiful cousins, Amie and Jessica. They obviously got the good genes.

Day 7 - Saturday

2008-09-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

It's been one full week since Ike has hit and nothing has changed other than the weather. The cold front is drifting off which is making us all more miserable.

We are getting ready to celebrate my Grandmother's 70th birthday. It is a surprise party and it will certainly be a surprise for her and us. We haven't seen my Mom's side of the family in over 7 years. Would you call it bad blood between us? I'm not sure. I've had anxiety about seeing everyone today; it's even affecting my dreams. My grandmother walks into the room, notices us, and tells us to get the hell out.

I'll admit that I'm bitter. She has 3 great grandchildren who she refuses to meet. With both children I received a phone call while I was in the hospital. She asked for my address and phone number so she could send a card. That card never came. Whatever she has against us, shouldn't be used against my children. My brother and his daughter are in the same boat (other than the fact she didn't even know he had a daughter until a couple of months ago). Tonight will be the first time that she meets my boys and my neice.

I'm hoping that we come back to a house full of lights. My fingers, toes, and eyes are all crossed.

Day 6 - Friday

2008-09-19T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today I am kid-free and loving it. Sometimes I feel horrible for being happy when the kids are away, but in reality I need the break. Just one day to myself to re energize my emotions. I love my kiddos and when they actually leave I miss them. I guess it's a catch 22.

The laundry is piling up in the house. I tried before the storm to get all of the laundry done because I knew the power would be out. There was one load in the washing machine before I could dry them. Stupid me, didn't get them out of the wash so they were alittle stinky.

I went to my cousin's house for the day and brought my 4 huge laundry baskets. I'm jealous of their washer and dryer! They have the huge machines with a million options. It took all day to get all the laundry done, but I got to spend time with my cousin.

Other than that, it was a pretty uneventful day. We still have no power as you can tell. Just waiting it out!

Day 6 - Thursday

2008-09-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Devin went to work with Chase today for 2 reasons. #1 - to give me some sort of break. #2 - because Devin's Mom had the option to pick him up. Of coarse, she found out that I kept her son by myself yesterday and threw a temper tantrum. So, in return she punished Devin by not picking him up.

Garrett and Jacob got to spend some much needed time alone with me. We had a fun day. Lunch at Friday's and a trip to Toys R Us. What kid wouldn't like that? It's amazing how much the kids are growing up. Garrett wanted a puzzle instead of an actual toy. Jacob followed in his footsteps and wanted one also.

Jimmy came to pick them up this afternoon. He got power yesterday and didn't want to pick the boys up. I explained that they were tired of being in a house without power and it would be better if they went with him early. Reluctantly, he picked them up a day early. It's hard being a part time father!

4 more days until we have power! WEEEE!

Day 5 - Wednesday

2008-09-17T21:02:00.000-07:00

My nerves are shot! It was the first day that I actually cried because of the stress of the situation. Chase went back to work and I was home with all 3 kiddos. They are sick of being in the house as much as I am. I don't blame them for being wild. The day started off with them not being able to share their toys and ended with a fight over corn. I had had enough!

I've been saying that the worst thing about not having electricity is that you are literally in the dark as to when you will get power restored. It's disappointing to leave the house and hope that you come back to A/C and lights, but instead it's the same. My hopes are shot that we will get power anytime soon!

Tonight we watched the news for any updates for our area. By next Tuesday Center Point will have restored 50-70% of power to it's customers. My thoughts?? That's it?!? 50% isn't a huge number when we are talking about millions of people will still be in the dark. They began reading zip codes off like lotto numbers as to when people would get electricity. Our zip code fell on Monday. 5 more days and things should be back to normal.

Day 4 - Tuesday

2008-09-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Surprise! Surprise! Still no electricity in our neighborhood! It seems as through people around us (some friends and family) are getting their power back so I have hope that it will be soon. The cold front is still in effect; the highest temperature is around 83. At least we aren't battling typical Houston weather in September.

Our neighbor has been an angel. He was in contact with his corporate office in Dallas. They were nice enough to send 500 pounds of ice, some bread, and a 5000 watt generator. He is allowing us to plug in our extension cord in order to run some appliances. There isn't enough thanks I can give him for his generosity. We were able to hook up a lamp for light, a fan for a breeze, a deep freezer, and a small refrigerator. The best part....we are now able to watch tv!

The first thing we did was turn on Fox News. For the first time we were able to see the damage to Galveston first hand. Sure we had a radio to listen to, but nothing could ever prepare you for what you would see. The pictures made Ike seem real for the first time in days. It didn't feel like a dream anymore. I feel I'm being ungrateful for everything we have. I should feel blessed that we are all healthy, have a home to come to, and food to eat. Instead I'm bitching and moaning that we have no AC.

Day 3 - Monday

2008-09-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

The cold front came in today which makes having no electricity alittle bit more bearable. We have the windows and the back door open so the breeze is coming through. At least it's not 100 degrees anymore!

Chase went to work today even though there was no power at the office. He was there for maybe 30 minutes. He then had to turn around and come back home. It's frustrating when gas is non-existent. If you do find gas then the line is at least 5 miles long. Thankfully, he does not have to return back to work until the electricity is turned back on.

While on his way home, Chase went to find a FEMA POD (point of destination for food, water, and meal). A driver was nice enough to let Chase in front of her when he missed the end of the line. He sat in line for 2 hours until a police officer pulled up beside his truck. He said that Chase had cut in line and that he would have to leave. Chase tried his hardest to explain, but the police officer didn't want to hear any excuses. He immediately got on his radio and called for a trucker to tow Chase's truck. Unwillingly, Chase left the line with no food or water.

After our trip to HEB yesterday, I'm nervous that we will run out of food, water, and ice. Ice isn't going to keep all our food frozen.

Day 2 - Pictures from the neighborhood

2008-09-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

A street light on theground of a major intersection

A common sight....billboards blown away to nothing.
Trees pulled from the earth, grass included.

A huge tree blocking a street. It was days before it was removed.

An old gas station now being used as a car port.

The wind was so fierce that this metal sign was twisted into a DNA strand.

Day Two - Sunday

2008-09-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today is supposed to be HOT and we have still have no electricity. The kids were sweating up a storm. We've been letting them run around in only their underwear which is way outside of my character. Devin didn't really like the idea of being in his undies (he was alittle shy) but Garrett and Jacob had no problem taking it off.

Our company left early (very very early) this morning. Danny couldn't sleep because he was worried about his own house. We heard from him later in the morning and they had some damage. The entire fence was blown away and the chimney was knocked down. Of coarse, there were trees knocked down but nothing that had hit his house.

Eating from an ice chest is depressing. I'm running a fever. My body aches from head to toe. Sleep deprivation is setting in. And to top things off I'm throwing up everything I eat.

The radio mentioned that our HEB would be open and running today. We needed ice desperately so we decided to brave the crowd. Surprisingly, it was worse than expected! There was a line outside that wrapped around the entire building. The store was only letting in 10 people at a time. People who were carrying purses or bags were turned away because people had already started to steal. We left without ice.

We saw the electricity trucks out in our neighborhood today. It was the greatest sight I've seen! An hour passed by and they left without restoring the power. WTF?!? My fingers are crossed that we get power tomorrow.

The Aftermath - Day One

2008-09-13T19:59:00.000-07:00

We walked outside this morning and found minimal damage to our property. Some tree branches fell in the front yard which wasn't surprising. A part of the fence in the backyard fell. It isn't anything major and I count my blessings!

We have no electricity and the house is hot and humid. It's been raining on and off but the humidity is so high that it feels about 100 degrees. There is a slight breeze coming through but not enough to keep us from sweating our asses off.

The kiddos are doing fairly well. Of coarse, they don't quite understand why we can't turn the tv or the lights on. They are playing with toys and running through the house. Back to the basics. I can't remember the last time the kids have gone one day without watching tv for at least 30 minutes. That's kinda sad!

We decided to head over to Chase's Mom's house. The drive over was awful! Damage everywhere you look and it's then that I realize how lucky we truly were. Massive trees blocked the street. Entire fences blown away revealing wind blown lawn equipment. Trees that have fallen into houses and destroying the roof. Tears came freely as we passed.

Thankfully, our entire family is safe and sound. Nobody has electricity and only minimal damage has been reported.

The Hurricane Arrives

2008-09-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Ike is on its way. I've never been through a major storm and I have no idea what to expect. Rain and wind are a given, but what else?

Some friends, Mirium, Danny, and their daughter Brandy, came to stay with us. They live in Webster which is in the danger zone of Ike. It's been nice to spend time with them and catch up no matter what the circumstances are.

The lights went out alittle before midnight and thankfully we have candles, a flashlight, and a battery powered radio. Ike is supposed to hit Galveston @ 12 so we are just waiting. The kiddos are sound asleep and have no clue what's going on. I guess that is a good thing.

Danndy and Chase are being protective of all of us (which in turn is making me extremely nervous). It's one o'clock in the morning and the wind and rain has started to pick up. We are all still wide awake, too anxious to sleep. We seem to all be taking turns standing at the sliding glass door and looking into the backyard. I've been texting my brother and my Mom to make sure they are all ok. My brother's family is sitting in the bathroom.

Chase and I decided to sleep for a couple of hours before the storm gets too bad. As soon as I fell asleep, Chase jumps and puts his hand on my back. He swears he hears a tornado forming (the wind was swirling pretty badly at this point). Sleep wasn't goign to happen and we found out that Danny and Mirium were still up for the same reason.

Right now, a tree in our neighbor's yard is a major concern. It's maybe 20 feet hight and swinging with such force that it could snap at any moment. If it falls, it will go stright through our bedroom. The living room is now our "look out point". We all decide that the kid's bathroom will be the best spot for all of us in case we need to move away from the windows.

It's 3 o'clock and we are now considered in the eye. The eye is measuring 40 miles wide. We all try to catch some much needed sleep because I know the kids will be ready to rock and roll by 8 o'clock (only 5 more hours geeez).

The calm before the storm

2008-09-12T12:22:00.001-07:00

So, here is what we are going through right now.

The clouds are coming in. Picture taken at noon.

Chase put tape on all of the windows so they wouldn't shatter.

Just SOME of the water we have.

Our can goods and munchies.

A tree branch that has already fell. Granted it's dried up, but it still fell because of the wind.

My last shower before the electricity goes out.

Getting ready for Ike

2008-09-12T07:56:00.001-07:00

We are in the destined path of Ike and quite frankly I'm scared. We are as prepared as we think possible. Enough food, water, batteries, flashlights, etc. But how much is really enough when you have no clue what this storm will do? How long will the power actually be out? How strong will the winds be? Are we going to have damage?

It's eerily silent outside as the clouds roll in. The tv has been tuned to the news all morning and we've watched Galveston already start flooding. Right now they are predicting the storm will reach us about 12 midnight so I doubt we will be getting much sleep.

I'm alittle scattered brained right now (as you can tell by my writings). Please keep us, our family, and our friends in your prayers. I will update when possible.

Clothes shopping with a skinny chick

2008-09-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

Today I went shopping with my cousin. My cousin is the total opposite of me; skinny (size 0), blond hair, blue eyed, beautiful, cheerleader, and popular with both men and women. It doesn't matter where we go together, she turns heads! We went to a clothing store that carried nothing over the size of extra small. Seriously, my one leg could fit in a pair of pants (and I doubt even that).

There were probably 10 people working in this store and one person actually made eye contact with me, asked if I needed help, and even offered a dressing room when I was carrying my cousin's clothes. And surprisingly it was a male salesperson who would normally look the other way! The other salespeople would side step me and go directly to my cousin to ask if she needed anything. If I tried to make eye contact they would pretend to fold clothes or if I asked for anything they pretended not to hear me.

It amazes me that people act like this to other human beings and all because I'm a fat chick who couldn't even think about wearing their name brand clothes. It's sad. It made me sad because I felt like I wasn't even worth anything.

A lesson unknown

2008-09-05T12:31:00.000-07:00

Nessa has been chewing on herself; which is really annoying at 3 o'clock in the morning when all you hear is a lick, lick, lick and a gnaw, gnaw, gnaw. This afternoon we went to Petco and bought Bitter Yuck. You spray it on your pet in the problem areas and it is supposed to stop them from licking or biting that spot because of the bitter taste.

On a side note, Jacob has been putting his fingers in his mouth lately. He has never been a thumb or finger sucker so it's quite weird that he has picked up this habit. I'm curious if he is cutting his back teeth.

Back to the story, we are waiting in the car to pick up Garrett. The bag is in reach of Jacob, who decides it's ok to rummage through it. He kept saying that the ball was wet and it didn't click. It didn't click until he started screaming bloody murder while we pulled into the driveway. The Bitter Yuck opened in the bag and Jacob put his fingers in his mouth after touching it. Thankfully, it's not harmful just a disgusting taste.

He promised not to ever put his fingers in his mouth again. Hopefully, it works for the dog too!

1st homework project

2008-09-05T04:48:00.001-07:00

I've never heard of homework in Kindergarten, but Garrett came home with an assignment that was due today. The teacher provided a hand drawn person and Garrett was supposed to decorate it to make it look like him. It looks amazing and he did the majority of the work. He even cut out his little outfit (using straight lines). Oh he made this crafty mom proud! I think he will follow in my footsteps and be an artsy fartsy genius.

What do you think?

2008-09-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

Who wants to throw popcorn in their mouths? 100 points if you make it straight in. 50 if you hit the nose to go in. You will be disqualified if you wake them up!

Meet Nessa

2008-09-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

We have a new member of the family, our new puppy Nessa. She is a year old and is very well trained. We couldn't have asked for a better dog. She visited the vet office over the weekend and she received a clean bill of health. This 43 pound dog of love just wants to be your lap dog. Let me tell you, it does not feel good at 3 o'clock in the morning when she is standing on your chest wanting to be rubbed on.

Going to the chapel

2008-08-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

One of my closest friends, Gen, got married tonight to her Army man Will. She looked amazing and he looked handsome in his uniform! Unfortunately my camera sucks and the 60 pictures I took during the wedding didn't show up at all. Maybe 10 actually showed up and that was of the table decorations and cakes. Go figure!

Watching Gen and Will slowly dancing to their first dance brought tears to my eyes. They held each other close, sang softly, kissed passionately, and looked lovingly into each others eyes. It was priceless to see such love between two people. I hope to find something like that one day.

10 things I wish never exsisted

2008-08-28T07:46:00.001-07:00

1. The never ending pile of dirty clothes and dishes.

2. Fathers and mothers who refuse to take care of their children.

3. Fruit that spoils within 2 days of bringing it home.

4. People who discriminate against others for any reason.

5. Dogs who piss on the floor or couch after going outside 50 million times in one day. GRRRR!

6. Saggy boobs at 26!

7. Guys that decide to go on a diet and lose 20 pounds in an instant.

8. The dollar menu at every fast food restaurant you go to.

9. Cancer.

10. Temper tantrums that take place in public (and at home).

Being nice sucks

2008-08-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

I was nice. Why am I so nice? In turn I am disappointed and feeling burned. Last night I asked Jimmy if he wanted to take Garrett to school. I was the bigger person and went above and beyond. Jimmy was extremely happy on the offer and agreed to pick him up no later than 7:35.

This morning Garrett is dressed and ready to go. 7:35 rolls on by with no Jimmy in sight. Finally, I called him and he had some excuse as to why he was late. He finally arrived at 7:47.

I could have been really mean and just left at 7:35 with Garrett in tow and told Jimmy to go screw himself. But stupid me relied on the fact that he would be here on time. I should have been dressed and ready to go.

Update to Garrett's first day

2008-08-26T05:12:00.001-07:00

I drove to Garrett's school and waited in the car pool line with 50 million other people. All the Kindergarten car riders were sitting in rows outside. Strangely everyone was super quiet. Garrett had spotted my car well before I got up to the pick up spot. He was jumping up and down, pointing at my car, and noticeably telling one of the teachers that car was for him. It was the cutest thing ever.

He came running to the car and I noticed his shoes were untied. He jumped in the car and was all smiles. He proceeds to tell me he ate at the "cafe" and that he made no friends because he didn't want to talk to anybody. He got to color 2 pictures and visited the library. He received a bookmark and explained how it works. Then he said that he has to follow all the rules, listen to the teacher, and raise his hand.

The happiness in his face made me want to cry (but I didn't)! I can't wait for the rest of the year.

Garrett's 1st day of Kindergarten - Morning

2008-08-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

Today is Garrett's first day of Kindergarten. He got up at 6 o'clock bouncing and ready to go. I made a special breakfast for him, pancakes, and as he ate he watched me make his lunch. He sat patiently (well as patiently as any 5 year old can) while Jacob and I got ready. He wouldn't let that backpack out of his sight.

Finally, we were ready to leave the house. Backpack and lunch box in hand he bolted out of the door. I begged for a couple of pictures before he got in the car.

We got to "big boy school" and he was so excited. We walked hand and hand through all the other parents and found Ms. Zindler's Kindergarten classroom. He walked right in, sat down (by himself), and started coloring. He did awesome. Jacob was sweet and gave him a hug and said BYE.

As for Mommy, everyone should be extremely proud of me! I didn't cry one time! Ok, I must admit that I choked back some tears. I can't believe my first baby is in school and I know without a doubt he will do fabulous.

Under appreciated

2008-08-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

My mom's co-worker is pregnant with a little boy. She was nice enough to ask the other ladies about helping to throw a baby shower. Long story short is that she ended up doing everything by herself. Because I'm still not working I wanted to help her; all the burden shouldn't be placed on my mom. So, I ended up making table favors, a diaper cake, and a daddy tookbox.

The shower was today and only a minimal amount of people showed up. One lady in general (who didn't want to do anything for the shower) took all the credit for everything! And the pregnant co-worker kept asking that lady what should come next, when to cut the cake, when to open presents, etc.

My mom went out of her way to set this shower up and she doesn't even get the credit for it. She is the one who bought the decorations, bought the cake, decorated the entire room, pulled money from her department....everything! And yet someone else took credit for it. Some women really suck!

On a "happier" note

2008-08-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Garrett received his immunizations today, making him up to date! He did great and didn't cry at all. Poor guy didn't see it coming and looked shocked when the nurse stuck him with the 1st needle; I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was about to get 3 shots in the arm. Thank goodness we don't have to do that again until he is at least 11 years old!

Nice guys always finish last

2008-08-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being nice to my ex-husband. I'm tired of bending over backward and receiving nothing in return. Everytime that man wants something, I do it. When does he do the same in return for me or the kids?

I've been battling with the fear that Garrett will not get registered into Kindergarten. It started with an incomplete shot record from his doctor and then finding out that he still needed shots. Then I couldn't find his birth certificate (which I eventually found). So, I asked Jimmy to research previous doctors that Garrett went to for immunizations. He helped none. Then I asked to take him to the doctor to get up to date on his shots. Still no help.

Today I sat in the waiting room of a free health clinic for 6 hours. 6 freaking hours! Even though Jimmy has insurance on the kids he would not take off work to get them done and he wouldn't pay the deductible. I asked for help with school supplies and he said "Sure" but I still haven't received any money. Chase finally stepped up and bought his school supplies.

Jimmy will never put his kids first. It will always be an excuse on why he can't help (usually his work because he is sooooooo important). Today was the last straw. I'm done being the nice guy!

Picture Perfect?

2008-08-15T06:25:00.001-07:00

Here is how our picture taking goes.

#1 - "Jacob, let's take a picture together."

#2 - "Jacob, smile this time please..."

#3 - "Ok Jacob, smile AND look at the camera!!!"

The joys of Hamburger Helper

2008-08-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

I love hamburger helper. It's a quick and easy meal when you really don't feel like spending hours in the kitchen. Pair it up with some veggies and you are good to go. Yesterday I was not in the mood to cook so the choices were hotdogs and chili or hamburger helper. I decided to put some effort into cooking so Crunchy Taco hamburger helper was voted on.

Garrett, Jacob, and I started eating before Chase and Devin got home. I for the record don't like Crunchy Taco so I thought it tasted bad to begin with. Chase finally sits down with a plate and immediately says, "This is bad". Yeah, thanks alot! He goes into the kitchen, looks at the box, and says that it expired on November 2006!!!! I wanted to vomit right then and there.

So the moral of the story is to check the box for the expiration date BEFORE you poison your entire family!

Sabatoge

2008-08-12T10:25:00.001-07:00

Have you ever heard of Post Secret? It's basically a website that one guy, Frank, created. It showcases postcards that people have mailed with a personal secret that they have. Every Sunday new postcards are uploaded.

Anyways, Yahoo had their own version of Post Secret and this is one that I submitted. I'm comfortable enough to share it now. I've had a weight issue basically my entire life and I've tried to lose it multiple times with several different diets. Even going as far as having gastroplasty to control my eating (in the end that didn't work....long story).

My confession is that I'm scared of being the skinny girl. The concept is unimaginable. I only know how to be the fat girl. I'm scared of change so in turn I sabatoge my own weight loss. How do I get over this fear in order to be healthy for myself and for my family?

Kindergarten bound

2008-08-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

We went to Walmart last night and bought Garrett a backpack and lunch box for "big school". He was so excited to pick out his own backpack; his choice was Kung Fu Panda! Today he is dragging it around the house and won't let it out of his sight.

Of coarse, I started crying in the middle of the lunch box aisle. It's happy and sad that Garrett is growing up; very bittersweet. He is my baby and it's weird to think that is school career is beginning. Chase looked at me in the middle of my mini breakdown and rolled his eyes. I guess he just doesn't understand.

Jacob is alittle jealous because he wants a backpack and lunch box too. He keeps saying he wants to go to big school with Garrett. This is the first time that they will be seperated that Jacob can remember. Next year Bubba.....and I will cry then too!

It's been one year!

2008-07-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

Today marks one year since Chase and I "re-united". I sent a blind email to him just to see what he was up to, not to rekindle a relationship. Never in my life did I think that we would be where we are now; living together and making our blended family work. After one year I still have that butterfly in your stomach feeling when he kisses me. Hopefully, we will have many more years to come.

Missing Him

2008-07-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight I sat in our dark bedroom and listened to the kids play in the other room. Listened to life happening around me. I sat there crying and missing him; missing my Grandaddy.

A couple of days ago I went through Garrett's baby book and came across a letter my Grandaddy wrote to Garrett on the first day he was born. The letter reads as follows:

To our first great-grandson Garrett:

This is such a wonderful time of our life to have a great gradson! We will have lots of great fun times with you and the family. You will have a great time with us also. Your Great Grandmother will cover you with lots of good books, so you will be reading so soon. You will just love it and learn lots of things. Maybe you will get so smart so quick you can read when you are very young.

I started to write this letter to you about 6:30 pm. Then, at 7:30 pm, while I was still writing, Joyce and Me get a phone call from your Grand-Daddy Dean, and guess what he told us!! You were born 7:00 pm. He told us 8 pounds and 9 ounces!! 21-1/2"!!

Joyce and I will come to see soon. Looking forward to a very wonderful visit to our first Great Grandson. Joyce will bring you a gift that she made for you. Maybe I'll bring you something also.

You will learn quick that you have a great Mother and Father, a great Grandmother (Linda), a great Granddaddy (Dean).

We will see you soon. We love you, long before you were born, now we love you even more!

Great Grand Daddy Fred Roger
Great Grand Mother Joyce

(When I was a young man I was a good speller. Not so good anymore.)

The lights are turned off and I'm huddled on the bed with a wad of toilet paper in my hand. The words "You have a great Mother" is running through my mind. I think of all the times we spent together; before and after he got sick. I think of my mom telling me about the last time they saw him and him saying "I wish Melissa and the kids were here". I remember an email my grandmother, Joyce, sent to me saying "I love you. I miss your granddaddy every day. I'm thinking you have his creativity as well as his perseverance." I cry even harder when I wonder if he is proud of me now. If he approves of the decisions I've made since he has been gone.

I miss his hugs, I miss his smell, I miss hearing that he loves me. I'm miss him!

I'm drowning

2008-07-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

Changes in life are bound to happen and sometimes you don't expect them to happen when they do. I feel like I'm drowning in change. Drowning in the choices I've made and the choices that were made for me. When I think that I've handled one change, another one surfaces. When I come up for air and begin to breathe, I'm knocked down below the water and my lungs tighten. It's a never ending battle.

We are finally online!

2008-07-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

WOOO HOOOO! Our internet is back up at the house. It is amazing how much I rely on the use of internet. Everything from bills to correspondence with friends. Oh how I missed it!

The last I've posted was about giving and earning respect at my job. Since then I have been let go for "lack of respect". It had nothing to do with my work ethic or how I performed my job duties. Everyone says it is a blessing in disguise but I'm not to sure.

So, I'll be writing more frequently. Thank goodness because I've been lost without being able to write. Sure I could do it with a pen and piece of paper but something just isn't the same. The words don't flow as they normally would. I can't get past my handwriting or the scribbles when I make a mistake.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2008-06-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

How do you earn respect? Do you give respect to others even when they don't deserve it? Do you respect your elders or supervisors only because of their status or position?

Plain and simple, I'm having problems at work. The supervisor is a heavy micro-manager and it's driving me insane. Instead of trusting his employees to do the right thing, he insists on spying on them (through the computer or simply standing behind you for hours at a time). I know what needs to be done and complete it within the schedule and assure you that nobody needs to watch me work.

Honestly, I believe he singles me out of the group because I've been the ONLY one to step up to him. He is on the border line of harassment at times and uses intimidation tactics to get what he wants. I don't respect him. He lost that "priveledge" a long time ago.

Today I was told that I needed to respect him and I'm having major issues with that word. Shouldn't you earn respect (or give respect to others) in order to receive respect in return?

My heart hurts

2008-06-18T12:59:00.001-07:00

The kiddos are gone for the summer and I’m missing them tremendously. The house is not the same.

I miss their laughs.
I miss the constant hugs.
I miss hearing them say “I love you”.
I miss tucking them into bed.
I miss picking them up from daycare and hearing about their day.
I miss watching SpongeBob.
I miss someone sitting in my lap for a cuddle.
I miss playing games with them.
I miss their knock knock jokes about apple sauce.
I miss reading them their favorite books.
I miss their smiles.
I miss the little things they find so interesting.

I MISS MY BOYS!

Devin and I

2008-06-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

I can't ask for a better kid. Devin is an awesome little boy and this was a rare moment that he actually wanted to take a picture with me. He is still leary of us being around (espeically me), but it's still going better than expected.

Updates

2008-06-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

Chase and I made it official this weekend. The kids and I have moved in, all my mail is forwarded to the house, and the address on all of my bills have been changed. The house is a mess and the garage looks like a tornado has blown through it but it is done.

I'll be on and off line sporadically for the next couple of months. Hopefully, our internet will be set up soon. But for now, I'm going to have to get around the blocked security of the internet police at work.

Just another year

2008-06-05T08:11:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to me!

Yes, today I turn 26 years old. There is nothing really "happy" about this day other than I'm another year older.

Motherhood

2008-06-03T08:03:00.001-07:00

Motherhood is tough. If anyone says it’s easy; they’re lying! It’s a never ending cycle of breaking up fights, laundry, cooking, cleaning, whining, crying, wiping butts, kissing boo-boos, watching SpongeBob for the 50 millionth time, etc. If you are lucky, you receive the precious gift of just a moment of sanity. This morning was the gift I have been waiting for.

The boys came home after Jimmy’s visitation weekend. In just a matter of days it seems as though they have grown inches. They were timid at first and not wanting to talk to me. That’s normal for both of them and I’m starting to get over it (it hurt a lot those first couple of months when they came home). All I wanted to do was have them in the same room with me.

This morning on my way into work, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of them. I was the crazy lady who couldn’t drive on the freeway because she wasn’t paying attention. Sorry to all those drivers out there who cussed and threw the bird at me. Anyway, this morning I looked at those two boys and realized that they are my heart, my soul, my everything.

Motherhood is tough, but it’s worth every single non-sanity minute.

The outsider looking in

2008-06-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

Devin’s daycare is doing a “school play” on Thursday this week. Over dinner Chase and his parents talked excitedly about going while I sat silently in the corner. That was the first I had heard of any school function; obviously I wasn’t invited to go. I want to be there for Devin, support him in any way I can, be able to take all the pictures I want, and clap along with everyone else. I don’t want to hear second hand of how well he did.

Last night Devin was singing the songs that he was going to perform at the play. After he finished and I gave my round of applause he said “I want you to come and watch me. You have to bring your camera so you can take lots of pictures of me. That’s what all the other parents do.” What do I say to a 4 year old? “I can’t make it buddy. Maybe next time.” That would be a lie because I would be there in a heart beat. Do I tell him the truth? “Sorry, I wasn’t invited and your mom doesn’t want me there.” I decided against that. Instead I simply said “I’d like to go” and left it at that.

I wonder how long it will be before I’m invited to his school functions. I wonder how long it will take to get over the feeling of being an outsider looking in.

Update on Bad Dreams - Question & Answer

2008-05-21T14:53:00.001-07:00

There have been multiple questions sent to me through email about my latest blog. I’ve decided to post some of the questions asked personally and answer them.

Question: Did you tell your parents what happened?
Answer: No. They never found out and I never mentioned it to either of them.

Question: Why didn’t you tell your parents?
Answer: This is a hard question to answer. I didn’t tell them because I felt that they would have blamed me for putting myself in that situation. I still feel that way. Somehow, someway, it would be my fault.

Question: Did you tell anyone at all? Friends, Family, Therapist, Your ex-husband, Chase, etc.?
Answer: No. When I was married to Jimmy there would be times that I would wake up screaming. I still never told him what happened and just brushed it aside as nothing important. But now my grandmother knows and I’m sure Chase will find out once he reads this.

Question: Did you see or talk to him after that day?
Answer: I did not speak to him, but I did see him almost daily until he moved. I saw him once at the mall years later. As soon as I saw him, I ducked into a store pretending to look at a clothes rack. I cried like a baby while the sales lady stared at me.

Question: Do you have intimate issues because of this?
Answer: Of coarse. I won’t go into detail for your sake and mine.

Question: Why did you write this on a public blog for anyone to read?
Answer: Why not? Writing is a form of therapy for me; it’s not for anyone else. I shouldn’t be ashamed of what happened….it’s been long enough.

Spead your wings

2008-05-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

My Mom and I are very close; I will proudly admit that she is my best friend. When I left Jimmy she opened her house to us for however long we needed to be there. No time limits were set and if it was up to her then we would live there until the boys graduated college. It is with mixed emotion that I am choosing to leave and move in with Chase. She has been my support system, my confidant, my friend, my shoulder to cry on and I’m going to miss that. Sure, she will still be there when I need her (like any mom would) but it’s going to be different.

So, when I got this email from her this afternoon I cried.

Mom: Are you going to Chase’s tonight?? Or I guess I should say “home”
Me: Yes, I’m going to Chase’s tonight. Awwwww, that makes me sad that you say “home” like that.
Mom: Me too but we can’t keep calling it Chase’s forever. And once again I have to let you leave the nest spread your wings and fly.

Bad Dreams

2008-05-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

I have very vivid dreams at night; good dreams and bad. They don’t always involve myself, friends, or family but instead are of complete strangers or blurred faces. My dream last night was one that I’ve had many times and every single time I wake up in a panic.

A 13-year-old girl huddles in a group of guys during a serious game of football. She is considered “one of the guys” and is covered in grass stains and dirt. No touch football for that girl. She is determined to prove that she can take a full blown tackle even if her chest feels like it will explode when someone pounds into her head first. This isn’t her first game she's played, but she feels she has to prove that a girl can play football just as well as a guy.

Pure concentration is seen on everyone’s face as strategies are whispered. The game is tied and this was the last chance to win the entire game. The huddle is split and she takes her position at the end of the line. The ball is hiked and she runs full force to the end zone while the other team pulls on her shirt. The other team thinks the only way to stop her is by ripping her shirt so she will be embarrassed and give up. She continues to run as the ball is thrown, and to everyone’s amazement she catches it. The guys on her team all congratulate her by smacking her butt. She feels accepted again.

The game is over and she is invited by one of the older boys to celebrate the recent victory. It’s still early and her parents won’t be home for a couple of hours, what harm could it be? It started innocent enough with them sitting on the couch, but it turned horrible within seconds. He was on top of her in an instant breathing heavily in her neck. "You know you want me. You know you want it." She kept telling him to get off and no matter how hard she pushed he was too strong. The more she struggled and yelled the worse it became. He unbuttoned her pants and she began to cry. Finally, she gave up; she was tired of fighting.

She closed her eyes while he began to rape her. He enjoyed watching her in pain, he enjoyed watching her give up, he enjoyed the power he had over her. Inside she was mortified, scared, screaming at him to stop. After he finished with her he threw her off the couch and told her to get the fuck out.

This is where I wake up in a panic; crying and shaking at the realization that it is not just a dream. It is my living nightmare that nobody knows about. I've hidden this secert for 12 years and I feel as though I re-live that experience far to often in my dreams.

Welcome to Dallas

2008-05-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Chase and I had a kid-free weekend and went to Dallas to visit some friends. It was extremely nice to get away and spend time with Jake and Erin. We got home Sunday night drained and exhausted. Here are some pictures from Saturday.

Me, sitting on the potty. For real! LOL

Jake and Chase laughing, this was a common occurance!

I felt like this elephant was looking straight at me asking for help.

Erin and Jake

A blast from the past

2008-05-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Here I am probably 20 years ago enjoying the best part of a cake batter bowl. YUM!

Finger licking good

2008-05-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

What's the best part of making a cake? LICKING THE BOWL!! I love the kid's faces in these pictures.

Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today I received the best Mother’s Day gift. It wasn’t anything that could be purchased or made; it could only come from the heart. Isn’t that the gift all Mommy’s want the most?

Background information: About 6 months ago Jacob started saying “I like you” instead of “I love you”. I’m still not quite sure why he says like instead of love. He says this phrase quite often which is usually followed by a hug, a kiss, or a quick snuggle in your lap.

Sunday afternoon Chase and I were sitting on the couch watching tv while the 3 boys ran around the house. Jacob decided to sit on Chase’s lap and snuggle up to him. Out of the blue he says to Chase, “I like you”. Chase responded with, “I like you too buddy.” It took every ounce in me not to cry at that moment to see the two of them snuggled up and professing their “like” for each other.

Why do I consider this the best Mother’s Day gift? Because it confirms that I’m making the right decision moving in with Chase. It confirms that Garrett and Jacob are capable of opening themselves up to another man other than Jimmy (not that Chase is there to replace him). It’s not only about Chase and me; it is also about our children.

To all my Mommy friends I hope you had a great Mother’s Day!

Happy Birthday Jacob

2008-05-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

My little Jacob turned 4 today. This year has certainly been a blur and I'm really curious where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday he turned 3 and only months ago that I was pregnant with him. I look at this guy and tears swell with love and pride. All the behavioral issues we are facing melt away for this moment. My son is growing before my eyes and I am just along for the ride. Happy birthday Jacob!

Painting the living room

2008-05-03T17:03:00.000-07:00

We finally finished painting the living room which is a huge task. It consists of high ceilings, attached to a hallway (which we also painted), and it's just a big room in general. 2 gallons of paint later we are done and loving the new color. Pictures, as always, are posted below. One more room to paint and we are done with the inside of the house. Bring on the master bedroom!

The before picture. Honestly, this picture gives no justice to the peach color the ex wife had picked out.

The bar area before.
The after (with kitchen shown). We put that trim to seperate the colors of the kitchen and living room. I love how that turned out.

Why can't he be Grandaddy?

2008-04-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

My fondest memories growing up consisted of spending time with my grandparents. Going out to dinner, followed by the bookstore, and ending with going to the yogurt shop. Or sitting under the table while my parents and grandparents played dominoes or cards.

Today I set up the arrangements for Jacob's 4th birthday. Because it's only 3 weeks away I sent out "advance invites" to friends and family giving the appropriate information. Later at lunch Mom tells me that my dad has decided not to come to the party. His excuse? "Because it's not his thing". The real reason? He can't drink his beer.

It's makes me extremely mad and sad that he doesn't want to be apart of his grandchildren's lives. My kids would love for him to pay them an ounce of attention, but instead he pushes them away. I've dreamed of my dad being like my Grandaddy; of my kids having the same relationship with my parents as I did with my grandparents.

I realized today that I can not change my dad. My kids can't change their grandfather. My mom can't change her husband. Nobody can change his behavior but HIM. I gave up today on my dreams of my dad being like Grandaddy.

Just call me Ms. Clumsy

2008-04-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. I was the kid that fell off the risers during a choir performance and sprained her ankle. Many of times I've slipped in the bathtub. I still can't walk down a set of stairs without having the fear of tumbling down them. So many more instances to prove my clumsiness, but today I believe I've outdone myself.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around myself, and walked to get my unmentionables from the dresser. As my hand goes on the handle and begin to pull, I feel a sharp pain my foot. I look down and see my hair dryer. I had stepped on the electrical plug and the metal had gone into my foot. The true pain didn't set in until I sat down on the bed and examined my foot. Chase was my strong provider and doctored my bleeding foot while I cried like a baby.

10 hours later my foot is so swollen that I can't even wiggle my toes. I've had my tetanus shot so I'm not worried about my foot turning green and falling off. It is currently propped on a pillow, ice around it, and I'm doped up on Tylenol (as doped as you can get on that stuff). Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to walk without limping.

I will update if I decide that my foot will be better chopped off instead of attached to my ankle.

Love,
Ms. Clumsy

Just one year ago

2008-04-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

This month marks one year since I packed up the boys and myself and walked away from my marriage to Jimmy. April 5 was the actual day I decided to leave and it was probably the hardest decision I’ve had to make. On that day I literally thought that life was over (yes, I know that sounds extreme) even though I had to appear strong for my kids and the people around me. Heartache, sadness, shock, anger, all balled into one emotion.

I am amazed and grateful that life can do a 180 in just a matter of months. I no longer feel life is over, but instead I feel it is just starting. A new chapter has opened in my book of life. I am the happiest I’ve been in an extremely long time and I have a divorce to thank for that. My divorce is a cause of happiness? WOW!

No more paint!

2008-04-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

Oh the joys of painting. We tackled the kitchen over this weekend and it turned out to be alot of work. The chosen color? YELLOW! We started Saturday morning with a "dull" yellow. It took the majority of the day with 3 coats of paint and was extremely exhausting.

We were enjoying dinner and the color had changed from a dull yellow to a yellow highlighter. Chase looked at me and said, "Do you like this color?" Let's be honest, it was awful. At 9 o'clock at night we headed up to Walmart to pick out more paint.

Sunday we repainted and got rid of the yellow highlighter. See pictures below.

Before

First coat

New color compared to old
Finished

Kitchen is finished. Look at the difference!

Just stuff them in the trunk!

2008-04-18T18:45:00.000-07:00

I found out that the kids can comfortably fit inside the truck of my car. This means when they are fighting over that one little hot wheel, I can throw them in the trunk. They think it's funny now. Just wait boys...just wait!

Good Morning America

2008-04-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

Chase thought it would be funny to take pictures after a rough night. For the record, I don't find it that funny! I also hate that he still looks pretty good and I look like a truck has run over me several times.

If looks could kill

I love waking up next to this guy!

Paint

2008-04-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

Paint, paint, and more paint! We will be painting for the next couple of weekends to finish the entire house, but I can't wait to see the transformation. The boys room is now done and I love the color. Here are some before and after pictures. By the way, I decided against the polka dots. I think it looks great the way it is.

Before - Dull grey

The paint is done - aruba blue

The bunk beds are up!

I love that the bed spreads match the wall.

Painting, Gardening, and Mini-golf playing?

2008-04-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

This weekend is going to be extremely busy and surprisingly I'm looking forward to it. Chase and I are planning on painting the boys room (currently it's a spare bedroom that is painted a dull grey - imagine the color of a jail cell). We will hopefully get their bedroom furniture put together. Do you think polka dots is too girly? Yes, you heard me right....polka dots for a boys room.

The paint issues for the rest of the house have been solved; we have both agreed to colors we like. The clouds have parted and I can hear the angels singing! Yellow for the kitchen/dining area and tan for the living room. Anything is better than pink and peach that is on the walls currently; which is what the ex wife had picked out!

I'm dying to get my hands on the pile of dirt you would call a garden and plant some flowers or bushes. Lets be honest though, I have no clue what I'm doing. I've looked online for some advice (because you get the best advice through the net...haha) but it is just mumbled garbage and makes you want to shoot your brains out.

In between all the painting, gardening, and putting furniture together we promised to have some fun with the kiddos. Maybe some 3-d mini-golf and balladium at Shankz. Or the park where they can run around until their little legs fall off. Decisions decisions! I'm asking all my friends to please donate some booze for my sanity!