Be back soon

I'm in a funk; a major funk. I have so much that I need to write, but everytime I sit down at the computer the words never come. Right now my life seems to be upside down and I'm kicking like a turtle to get up and walking again. So, bare with me and I will be back soon. I'll probably start right where I left off (Christmas), so you will have to read old news.

Dreams

I am a vivid dreamer. Usually I wake up and can recite everything that happened in my made up fairy tale to pin point detail. Maybe it's a gift or maybe it's just that I have an over active imagination.

My current dream is I'm the 800 pound woman and bedridden. My mother is forced to lift my fat rolls to bathe me, helps me use the bathroom, and brings me food throughout the day. One day a wall in our house is cut out in order for the paramedics to save me. I am somehow wheeled onto a forklift and being driven through downtown Houston. On the way to a fat clinic....I die.

What does this mean? The only conclusion I can come to is that food is killing. I'm an addict....a food addict. Food is like crack (not that I know what crack does to you) and I can't ever get enough. I'm one Twinkie away from being the 800 pound woman who is bedridden. I'm one Ho-Ho away from killing myself. It really is depressing!

My sweet Lorelai

Lorelai is staying with Aunt Melissa and Chase for the night! She is my only niece and the love of my life. I don't keep her nearly enough, and when I do she is spoiled rotten. The biggest laugh I got was watching her run after the dogs. She would run, stand at the edge of the kitchen, and giggle with delight. Watching her enjoyment made me laugh.

Lorelai's favorite toy is the dog cage. She insists on sitting in there. Or putting her baby doll in there when it's bed time. What is the fascination with a cage? It does make for cute photos though!



We went stopped by Walmart to pick up some much needed items and she crashed. Chase and I took turns in holding her. Seeing Chase hold my precious niece was indescribable. It made me wonder what it would be like if we have children. Chase can be such a hard ass, but watching him with Lorelai brings out a side I'm not used to seeing. He is gentle, loving, and so caring. I love seeing it.

Happy New Year

Every year I make resolutions for the bringing in of a new year, but this year is going to be different. My only resolution is to not make any. I make the same promises every year. I will lose weight, be a better mom, spend more time with the kids, be more patient, etc. Every year I feel like I don't accomplish any of those goals, especially the weight thing. In turn I feel like a failure and right now I refuse to feel like that. Now that I think about it, maybe I'll make one resolution.

1. Be happy with who I am. (for once in my life)

Happy Birthday Devin

Today this wonderful little boy turns 5! I pity anyone who is born near a holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Especially with Christmas, it seems as though a birthday is rolled into it. Planning a party is out of the question. We will be throwing a party at the house in January so everyone can get over the holiday cheer.

Tonight we let Devin open one gift (the others he will open during his party). Then we went to dinner with the rest of the family to his favorite place, Applebee's. Devin loved the attention while the wait staff sang "Happy Birthday" to him. I hope he enjoyed his day!

Christmas with the boys

My family and friends have all asked why I get the boys on Christmas Day. Typically in a divorce one parent has an odd year and, you should assume, the other parent has the even year. Jimmy has long ago decided that he does not want the boys on Christmas morning. He has chosen not to see the joy on their faces as they realize Santa came to visit them while they slept.

At first no reason was given to his disinterest, but with some patience and diligent probing the truth came out. He believes child support pays for Santa. He does not feel he is required to buy them anything whatsoever. This is the second year that they have received nothing on Christmas from their dad. It doesn’t take much effort to buy a couple of gifts from the dollar store, but apparently that is too much to ask for.

I’m happy that they are able to spend Christmas morning with me. He will have a lot of explaining to do when the boys are older. I’m curious how he will explain it to them.

Merry Christmas

Christmas Day and the house is a buzz. This morning, surprisingly, I was the first one to wake up. As soon as the kids heard me scurrying around they jumped out of bed. I love seeing their faces when they notice all the presents under the tree. Garrett always checks the plate of cookies to see that Santa ate all of them. Forget the presents, Santa didn't come unless the cookies are gone.

It was alittle bittersweet because we were missing Devin that morning. This year is the ex's year to have them on Christmas morning. We only get them for 3 hours that night. It sucks to have to share! You might be asking yourself why I had the boys if it was the ex's year. More on that at another time because that is a post in itself.

After presents it was time to get to work. We invited family and friends over for dinner and I was cooking all the sides. Seriously, what was I smoking when I thought that was a good idea? In the end, everyone liked the food (or so they said). I left the dishes on the counter for at least 3 days. Yeah, I know that's gross.

The kids made out like bandits. We all gained about 10 pounds from all the food we ate. There was no family drama (other than the exes). I'd say that classifies as a good Christmas.

Everyone needs Sponge Bob Operation!

Doesn't look thrilled....

He made the mess, he has to clean it up, right?

The night before Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas Eve and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The kiddos have been gone for almost a week now and the house is tremendously quiet. Oh bless the quietness to return my sanity; the greatest Christmas present of all. Garrett and Jacob are returning home tomorrow morning while Devin is only allowed to grace us with his presence on Christmas Day. It's sad that we will only have him for 3 hours, but we've got to make the best of it.

I've had my hands full for the past two days. We are getting ready to host Christmas dinner at our house this year. The first time EVER! We will have roughly 12 people here and I'm trying to get the house presentable. The shopping is done but the hard part is still staring me in the face; wrapping the 40 gifts all stashed in the closet.

And before I forget, I used the infamous line "I've fallen and I can't get up" this afternoon. I've been cleaning carpets all day and took one step on the tile. You know what happened next. My legs went in front of me and my ass was on the floor before I could correct myself. HOLY COW! I seriously sat there for 15 minutes in shock. I probably would have sat there for another 15 minutes, but the dog came over to lick at the pee puddle beneath. Hey, I was scared and shocked....I couldn't help any other bodily functions!

Pictures of Doom

I hate taking pictures with Santa. I hate sitting in the lines with 50 million snot nose little kids, touching everything along the way, only to have my kids walk up behind them and rub their little hands in someone else's boogers. What do I hate most though? The moms who insist that their crying 2 year old will get over it and take a good picture. "Just take one more picture." Look lady, take the picture with the kid screaming and move on! That's why the line is wrapped around the mall 3 times. I'm cranky, hungry, and want to get the hell out of here.

So, when we take the 3 boys to the mall and have their pictures taken with Santa, Jacob decides to be a brat. First he starts crying because he has to go to the bathroom. The infamous crotch grab. Where do little boys get this from? As soon as he sits next to Santa, his eye starts to itch. He refuses to smile because he insists that his eye itches. I pull him up and we came home with this.

Yup, Devin took a picture all by himself. Jacob ruined it for Garrett and I was pissed enough to pull both of them off Santa's lap and leave. Take note mommy who stands there for 30 minutes....take the picture of the screaming kid or leave!

It's "snowing" in Texas

Yee Haw! It's down right snowing here in Houston. Ok, maybe it's not SNOW like what you see up north, but we like to call the flurry little ice thingamybobs falling from the sky actual "snow". Sure, it melts within 2 seconds of touching the ground. Give me a break, it's the closest thing these native Texans get to snow.

What is this white stuff?

It's too cold on my tongue.

I'll try sticking out my tongue.

It's too damn cold out here. I hate it!

My car with the little amount of snow we got.

I must be doing something right

As a mom you are always concerned about the way you raise your children. Especially being a single mom with 2 little boys. Today was confirmation that I must be doing something right.

The other day I received a note in Garrett's bag saying the school was having a "Secret Santa Toy Shop". Garrett begged for money so he could go buy "stuff". It was hard to protest (even though I'm having issues with the school and money....different post). When he got home that day, he had a bag full of presents. One for each member of the family, including himself. Instead of spending all the money I gave him on himself, he decided to buy everyone one gift for Christmas.

We sat in my bedroom with the door shut while he showed me everything he bought. I told him I wanted mine to be a surprise and not to show me. Thankfully it was in a seperate bag so I couldn't peak. He picked out the wrapping paper and I wrapped the presents. I can't wait for everyone to open up the presents on Christmas Day.

He is growing up so fast and he is proving to be a wonderful young man. I know I'm doing something right for him to think of others before himself. Especially when a room full of toys are staring you in the face!

Merry Christmas!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Fun with Gingerbread

Tonight I took on the task of letting the boys decorate some form of gingerbread structure. Garrett chose the Santa sleigh, Devin chose the train, and Jacob chose the house. I've done these kits for the past couple of years and love them. They give you everything you need including directions. How can it go wrong? Ha, everything can go wrong but thankfully nothing major happened. This year though the train proved to be the most difficult. It didn't matter how much icing I stuck on the thing, it would lean over. In the end, it turned out ok.

Instead of posting the 50 pictures I took throughout the night, I'll spare you and post a slide show.

Nose to the grind stone

So, as everyone should know....I'm looking for a job. I've been on too many job interviews to count and have filled out so many applications that I think I have carpel tunnel syndrome. I was looking through Craigslist at the employment section and came across this ad.

Administrative/Personal assistant needed for the President of a small Construction/Engineering company.
- Minimum 5+ years of experience
- Knowledge of MS office, Word, Excel & Typing
- Have pleasant phone voice, professional, upbeat and freindly
- Construction/Engineering company work experience will be preferred
- This position will require to keep schedules and assist President with various personal task and run errands as needed
- Job offers Paid vacation, subsidised Health benefits and Performance Bonus, 90 days after hire - Background check is required prior to employment E-mail resumes and Photo (if possible) to xxxxxx@onepointinc.com

As I'm reading the requirements I'm thinking that I'm a pretty good candidate; UNTIL I got to "E-mail resumes and Photo". Are you freaking serious? Why would anyone need to see a photo attached with your resume? I'm not applying to be a SEXretary. Why not just be honest and say "If you have big boobs and are willing to please your boss, please apply now. If you are overweight, ugly, or actually have any qualifications for this job, please don't bother". I'm outraged and on the verge of emailing the listed address only to ask why a picture is preferred. I have to calm down first.

Seriously, what was I thinking?!?

A friend of Chase's is a manager for a family entertainment center near our house; it has putt-putt golf, an arcade, bumper boats, little rides, and go-carts. He offered our family free passes for the day (a $125 value) and we quickly accepted. With much coaxing of good behavior from the kids, we finally loaded up the car and went.

When we arrived at our destination the kids were bouncing with excitement. The first thing we did was go-carts. They have the adult carts with a bigger track and off to the side a track set up for the youngsters with smaller carts. The kids were about to pee in their pants while waiting in line.

Jacob and Devin are the lucky two that get to go first. Look at these faces.

Priceless, right? Not even one lap around the track and there is a pile up involving both boys. Everyone is laughing....no harm done. Jacob takes off again and as Jacob comes around the corner I see blood all over his face. "STOPPPPPPPPP Jacob," I scream as he drives past me smiling at least twice. Instead of letting go of the gas, he decides to crash into the side of the track.

I pull him out of the cart and rush him into the bathroom. I kept asking him if his face hurt. There was blood running from his nose and his mouth. He says quite simply, "Nope." As soon as we walk into the bathroom and he sees his reflection in the mirror he says, "My nose hurts. And my eye hurts. And my mouth hurts." Oh geez! When everything was said and done, he ended up being fine. We stayed the rest of the night sans the kiddie go-carts. Each of them did get to ride in the family go-carts with Chase and I could see the pure adrenaline in their faces. They loved it.

Seriously, what was I thinking letting my 4 year old drive a go-cart by himself? This is the same child who pays no attention whatsoever when we are walking in public and ends up bumping into at least 20 people in an hour. The same kid who refuses to listen to anything anybody has to say. The same kid who gets his butt whooped when he gets into trouble and 5 minutes later decides to do it again.