A new job opportunity

Around Novemeber (last year) I applied for a position at our company. 2 weeks go by with no word and I assumed I didn't meet the qualifications for the position. Finally, the manager sends me an email saying:

"Due to low volume of work, this position has been put on hold. I will open it up again, probably at beginning of the second quarter. I will let you know when it opens up. Thank you for your interest."

Today my manager emails me this:

"Melissa, Margie will be contacting you in the next few days regarding the position you applied for last year. I don't know if she is going to offer the job or not, but whatever the two of you decide is OK by me. Just wanted you to know before I left on vacation."

I know for a fact that only one other person applied for this job. She has been at the company for less than a year and honestly I believe I'm the better candidate for the position. My fingers, toes, and eyes are crossed hoping that I am hired for the job.

The escapades of the weekend

So, this weekend the three of us spent the weekend at Chase’s house with Devin. Mind you, I’ve got an ear infection and a sore throat kickin’ and taking heavy meds for it. The re-introduction went great and they were getting along. Just happy to be with “friends”. We fit all three car seats into the SUV and piled in. Garrett and Devin had window seats and poor little Jacob was stuck in the middle. The five of us ran around Saturday morning doing some last minute errands. After the errands were done we went back to the house and the kids got to play. Can you imagine the noise level of 3 excited little boys? Chase and I were doing a lot of “No, don’t do that. Share your toys. Don’t run.” Yada yada yada. Of coarse there were lots of tantrums by us saying “NO”.

It’s about 2 o’clock by now and we are loading up to go to a birthday party. I figure with all the playing, running, jumping, etc that they have done the car would have put all 3 to sleep in an instant. WRONG! Still going strong. We get to the b-day party (which is at the museum) and they did mini tour of the dinosaurs. Yeah, not fun when all the kids are supposed to line up in a line and follow the tour guide. I’m constantly looking for them making sure they haven’t wondered off.

Jacob and Devin (with pizza faces)

Garrett with the fish

5 o’clock and the party is over. Nap time? NOPE! Still wide awake and yelling. We get the brilliant idea to go shopping for some items at Walmart. Shopping with 3 kids? We’re crazy! I won’t go into detail about our experience other than the fact that all of us came out alive. I had my doubts. It was semi late at this point and I’m starving. Nothing quick to make at the house so we stop at Sonic. The kids are STILL yelling and I have a mini meltdown right there in the car. I start crying. Chase is being really sweet saying it’s ok, reassuring me that things will get better, that this is new for all of us, and that things will calm down.

We finally get home, unload the car, and finish eating dinner. Devin says he wants to take a bath with EVERYONE and wants me to wash him. All 3 boys jump in the tub. Note to self: the tub is NOT big enough for all 3 kids. By 8:30 all the kids are in Devin’s room, laying on the floor, and watching a movie. Finally, peace and quiet and one by one they all fall asleep.

I won’t break down the day of Sunday even though we did a lot throughout the day. It was somewhat better than Saturday though. Devin was ready for us to leave when dinner was done. He wasn’t as fond of me and wasn’t in the mood to share his toys anymore.

So, my views of the entire weekend?

1. I want to neuter myself today. What was I thinking? Having another baby? HA!
2. Devin is going to have some boundary issues when we move in.
3. I need to bring lots of headache medicine and earplugs.
4. Chase is an awesome dad.
5. Having 3 kids so close in age could drive someone to drink. Please pass the booze!
6. Chase and I are never going to agree on paint color!

You're Invited

Garrett's 5th birthday is coming up and he decided to have a Ratatouille themed party. I took it upon myself to make his invitations this year. I feel a homemade invite is more personal than a store bought one. It takes alot of time and energy, but it's worth it in the end.

Is anyone up for some popcorn?

Robert, Stacy, and Lorelai came to visit today. The boys haven't seen them since Christmas so it was a nice to spend time with Lorelai (and Robert and Stacy of coarse). The three little munkins decided they wanted popcorn. Some candid shots from today!

Garrett and Lorelai

Jacob

Bowling!

B-O-W-L-I-N-G! Bowling, bowling, bowling...it's for you and me. My grandmother, Joyce, used to sing this every time we passed a bowling alley. To this day, I quietly sing this in my head when I think of bowling.


Chase and I went to Rock-n-Bowl with a couple of friends tonight. You can't beat 3 hours of non-stop bowling and cheap beer! I won't mention my score because it was pathetic. Let's just say I need to practice some more. By the time we left, I had a blister on my thumb and a buzz from the margaritas.

Jake and Erin

Chase and Melissa

Chase's divorce is final

Chase is finally a free man. I'm sure he feels like a heavy burden has been lifted off his shoulders. The stipulations of his divorce are as follows:

1. Chase has primary custody of Devin. (YAH!)
2. She is ordered to pay $100 in child support every month.
3. Chase remains in the house - she has 30 days to get out and he owes her $1250 for half of the equity in the house.
4. She has more than the normal visitation - extended weekends and one night during her "off weeks".

Those are the major ones that they fought over. He basically won every single item that he wanted - the single most important one being Devin.

It is a very good day!

Happy Valentine's Day

Today I'm not looking for expensive jewlery or gifts. I'm only wanting a simple card that says "I love you". So, when I got a delivery at work I was surprised. Inside was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bear from Chase. Even though we won't be able to see each other today I know he is with me in my heart.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Karma is a bitch!

Way back when, Jimmy thought he had everything under control. He was looking forward to a big fat tax return so he could blow it on Super Cross and his football clinic in San Angelo. None of his plans included the kids in any way. But he always promised to reimburse the insurance he has missed.

Let’s just say it’s been a rough week for Jimmy. He called in the beginning of the week to tell me that insurance for the kids is being taken out of his check. $300 a month! What comes to mind is all the times he has complained he didn’t have $80 to reimburse me for the insurance that I carry for them. According to our divorce decree, he is responsible to carry the kids and the school has to legally abide by the decree. During that conversation he did the woe is me pity party about how he can’t afford anything. How the car payment is killing him. I’m crying just writing this out. :)

Then he calls me today to try and get me to call our case worker. Our case worker might be able to stop the insurance monies being taken out of his check if I can prove he is reimbursing me. Sure, I can prove he has paid 3 months out of the 6. Ultimately, he is $240 behind already! I appeared cooperative but he has no clue that I’m not going to call this lady.

At the end of this pleasant conversation, he informed me that he filed his taxes last night. (See sometimes it’s good to be nice so he will confide in me) I filed mine earlier in the week (got back a pretty good amount) but never told him what my return was. He told me he is only getting $200 back! It took every ounce of me not to laugh in the phone. I really wanted to ask “Well, are you going to pay me the $240 you owe me for insurance”. LOL

Poor Jimmy. I feel evil for having so much joy at his short comings. How everything is crumbling beneath him. I’ve come to realize….I’m going to Hell for it! LMAO!

A trip to remember

Chase and I were kid-free this weekend and were invited to go up to Dallas to celebrate Jake's birthday (Jake is Chase's best friend). We left Friday night and drove 5 long hours. Ok I rode and Chase drove, but it was still tiring. By the time we arrived, everyone was already in the swing of things. Drinks were flowing, cards were flying, laughter was abundant. I'm not sure what time we actually crashed, but it was very early in the morning (maybe 3?).

Saturday the group did separate activities. The guys went to play some disc golf and the gals sat around the house gossiping and watching chick tv. I call that perfect!!! We all needed to rest for the busy night we were about to attend. That night we went to Twin Peaks for dinner. If you've never been there....it can only be described as the hick version of Hooters. Girls in lumberjack plaid shirts (tight and cut off to show much boobage) and in daisy duke shorts. I wouldn't say you go for the food, but more of the scenery.

After dinner we went home and played Wii bowling until it was Bar Time. You know any good bar doesn't get exciting until after 11. The group bounced bar to bar until we landed at a club (around 12:30). We closed the place down! Drinking, dancing, laughing, singing, what more can you ask for? I think this picture describes it best....

Drew, Chase, and Jake

One thing is for sure....I can't hang with my peers! I know the rest of the week I'm going to pay for my partying and will be dragging butt until I can recover.

Adequate single parent?

It's the holidays and my co-workers usually exchange gifts every year to celebrate. My boss gave me a Christmas goodie basket and I said with complete honesty that he didn't have to do that. His response was "I feel sorry for you and kids this Christmas with everything going on." Now that I think about it, his comment makes me feel like people will start believing that I'm not an adequate parent. I logically know that he did not mean anything of the sort, but it still makes me wonder if people truly measure your ability to parent depending on having a spouse or partner.

Today was D-Day

It's official! I'm a divorced, single mom. It's alittle intimidating to stand in front of a judge to declare that you no longer love a man that you vowed to stick with for better or worse. To think 7 years ago I promised to remain married to this man until the day one of us died, and now I'm breaking that promise. If you really think about it I was already dead inside.

Everyone keeps asking what I'm feeling. I don't know how to explain it. I'm feeling excited, sad, happy, reflective, scared, etc. I have my kids, my family, and, believe it or not, I have a man in my life that I'm completely in love with. Things would be different if I were alone or if I came home to an empty house. If I didn't have anybody in my life then I'm sure it would have been a depressing day. But that isn't the case.

Despite all the emotions, I feel like this is the right decision.

A mother's love never dies

Chase and I went to eat Chinese food tonight for our romantic dinner. We sat alone in the smoking section for 10 minutes and soon a couple was seated next to us. The woman was a very talkative older lady. Very vibrant and reminded me of my grandmother. In between plates she looks at me and says, "You look exactly like my daughter. You are so beautiful. Everything about you reminds me of her." Then she says, "My daughter died in a car accident." I immediately said, "I'm sorry to hear that." Throughout the rest of our meals I could feel her watching me.

Strangely enough we finished our meals at about the same time. They got up to leave and she asked if she could give me a hug. I got up and gave her a hug you would give to someone in your family. Very close and personal (not the sideways hug that you would give to a stranger). She whispers in my ear, "I love you honey. Merry Christmas." It took everything I had in me not to cry on her shoulder. You could hear the hurt in her voice. The pain of losing a child. I felt so sad for this woman who shared such an intimate connection with me.

This stranger made me appreciate my two healthy boys even more. To cherish the moments we have together because at anytime it could be taken away.

Divorce count down - 4 days

Jimmy was given the final decree to look over about 2 weeks ago. I KNEW he would have issues with the back child support. The months that he REFUSED to help in any way. It totaled out to be alittle less than $2500. My lawyer called me yesterday and said that he doesn’t agree with the back support. He will agree to pay $1200 in one lump sum though. To get everything over with, I agreed to that.

With Jimmy it will always be a fight. What’s sad is this is just the beginning. I’m going to have to fight for everything those kids deserve for the next 14-15 years. And honestly I don’t have the strength to do it. At least not right now. Which in turn does that make me a bad mom for NOT fighting for what those kids deserve?

I realized awhile ago that he will always be the dead beat dad and will never take care of his kids. He will never be the father/husband/person that I hoped he would be. His actions proved his character when I left, and that’s what makes me not want to go back to him ever again. He proved what kind of person he truly is and I don’t ever want to be around him.

I feel like a fool for crying.

Christmas Pictures

Today we took our family Christmas pictures and for the first time in 4 years we had several good ones to choose from. The kids were amazing and the photographer did an excellent job keeping them entertained.

It's bittersweet taking our first picture of a family of 3.

I look at this picture and see the smiles on the faces of my children. It makes me realize that I can be a good Mom, even if I don't have the support from a husband.

What am I thankful for during Thanksgiving?

• I'm thankful for having two great kids, because without them I would be nothing.
• I'm thankful for having a supportive family. Without them, I'm not sure where I would be.
• I'm thankful that I was able to find love again. To have that butterfly in the stomach feeling again every time I see him.
• I'm thankful for my friends who stood beside me when I was crying, laughing, screaming, venting, etc.
• I'm thankful for having the courage to leave a loveless marriage.
• I'm thankful for being happy again.
• I have a lot to be thankful for this year but I'll keep the list short.