Communication is my downfall

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Right? Hi, my name is Melissa and I can't talk myself out of a brown paper bag if it involves sharing my true feelings with someone I care for. Now everyone responds with, "Hi Melissa" with encouraging acceptance. (Oh what a perfect world I live in.)

After 8 months of solid bliss with Chase, it was bound to happen. *Cue in dooms day music* We had a major fight. Again, I admit that I started the entire thing because I couldn't tell him what was bothering me, and it only escalated after that. He wants me to be brutally honest, no matter what the cost, and I would rather bottle everything up.

It was a screaming, crying, exploding fight that finally ended when we both calmed down and talked about what was going on. Yes, I broke down and told him the things that were upsetting me (that's a step in the right direction). He admitted that he pushes people away before they hurt him. We held each other, cried crocodile tears together, and said the dreaded "I screwed up and I'm sorry".

So, we have some issues to work out together. My communication skills, or lack thereof, and his reaction of pushing people away. At the end of the day, I'm glad I'm able to work through our issues together and not separately. This little bump in the road will only make our relationship stronger.

*Us at Garrett's birthday party

Fixing a boo-boo

I took my 6-day-old car to the shop today for repair. Thankfully, her insurance company is covering all the costs of the repair AND a rent-a-car for a week. I should get my car back the beginning of next week.

I found out that the lady who hit me was the doctor's wife. I'm sure she has plenty of money to fix my damages due to her failure to yield!

The loaner I got for the week is awesome! It looks alittle like the car from Back to the Future that Marty McFly drives (ok maybe not so much but it does remind me of it). Anyway, the one down fall is that it certainly isn't a gas saver. Oh my! I'm dreading the huge gas bill I will have come this weekend.

All in all, it is good news.

For once I'm speechless

No words can describe the feeling of having a brand new car (for less than 7 days) and some bitch hits you in a parking lot.

I was backed out of my parking spot, brakes pressed, and about to put it in drive when a SUV hits the back of me. She gets out of the car and asks, "Well, what do you want to do about it?" Are you serious???

We exchanged information and I immediately went to 2 different auto collision centers to get an estimate. $1300 worth of damage! If it was a couple hundred then I would pay for it out of my pocket. It's not worth getting her insurance company involved but I'm not going to pay $1300 for her mistake!

My Damage

A piece of my tail light cover.

Her damage #1

Her damage #2

Yes, that's right.....she walked away with a couple of scratches on her car.

Self photographer?

This is what happens when you leave your phone in reach of an unattended 3-year-old.

Maybe this is a thumb? An arm? A leg? No telling!

How do you work this stupid thing? Oh wait, I wasn't smiling!

Hit this button and smile, right? Or at least do a half smile. Got it.

Here comes Peter Cottontail

The kids woke up pretty early Sunday morning and, to my surprise, didn't notice the 3 baskets filled with candy sitting on the couch waiting for them. Instead they were more concerned with playing one of the new games that Garrett received yesterday for his birthday. It took some probing, but they finally realized the Easter Bunny came to visit while they were sleeping.

I didn't get the reaction I was hoping for. They took one look, said "wow", and went on their merry way. What happened to the shear excitement of candy filled baskets, ripping the paper off as fast as you could, and eating all the candy in 0.7 seconds? Yes, I was disappointed not to see that!

After we ate some breakfast we did a mini egg-hunt in the front lawn. They seemed to love the hunting part even though it wasn't much of a challenge for them.

Jacob found a blue egg

Garrett found a yellow egg

Devin found some eggs on the doorstep

The 3 boys

Garrett turns 5

Garrett celebrated his Ratatouille themed 5th birthday on Saturday. I must admit that I outdid myself this year with all the "crafty" things I did for the kiddos.

1. Made the invites
2. Provided aprons with every child's name on it.
3. Baked cupcakes for them to decorate and take home.
4. Made goodie bags.
5. Cooked half of the food (the other was supplied by our favorite bbq place).

The day was filled with food, friends, family, laughter, and fun. How can you call that a bad party? Garrett had a great time and loved the attention.

Here are some pictures from the party!

It's all mine

As some of you may know, when Jimmy and I divorced he demanded both cars we owned together. It didn't matter that I was left without a car and had no transportation for our kids. My mom and I have been sharing a car for almost a year now. It's worked out well, but I was itching to get into my own vehicle. Today was the day.

I'm the proud new owner of a 2007 PT Cruiser.

Update on my job interview

I just got back from my job interview and I don't think it went very well. Judging another person's facial expressions and body language is not one of my strong points. I couldn't read the woman to know if I was doing or saying the right thing to impress her. Sure they say to "be yourself" and if I'm truly being myself then I want to please her. I'm a people pleaser by nature.

The job itself sounds like it will be challenging and I'm excited about that aspect. It is a fairly new position, which in turn means some trial and error. From the way she described the job duties it didn't sound complicated, just a huge work load. That will be a nice change for me since I feel I work best under some amount of pressure.

The manager's major point was she needed someone to be there full-time. I mentioned that I have 2 young boys and I'm a single mom. They do get sick and I do have to miss work on occasion, but I don't believe it's an every other day occurrence. Maybe I shot myself in the foot, but I wanted to be honest and let her know that while my job is important to me I also have responsibilities at home that need to be taken care of.

One other person will be interviewed for this position, so I guess it's a 50/50 chance that I will get it. Fingers are still crossed. Hopefully, I find out next week when her boss comes back from a work related trip.

Paris

I came across this blog a couple of weeks ago and I'm addicted. Seeing pictures of Paris through the lense of a camera; it's beautiful! Maybe it's because I desperately want to see Paris with my own eyes. If that is the ONLY place I visit before I die I will be happy. Sure I'd like to travel the world, but Paris is on the top of my list.

This is the latest photo. How can you not fall in love with it?

An artist in the works

Garrett loves to color, draw, paint, mold play dough, etc. Anything that consists of using his hands to create something beautiful is right up his alley. The past couple of weeks he has really stepped out of his shell and has started to use his imagination. Instead of choosing to color in books he is now choosing blank sheets of paper. The artwork he creates is more precious than any premade picture.

The one special touch I love finding is his name. Yes, I realize it is backwards and some letters are missing BUT he did that all by himself. Nobody showed him how to write the letters, or which sequence they go in. This is his "signature".

Garrett & Momma - 3/8/08

Stacy's birthday card - 3/5/08

What do I hear? A Who?

I picked up the boys last night to celebrate Garrett's birthday. 5 years old already! Where did the time go? How did he grow up so fast?

We decided to go see Horton Hears a Who, which was really good. Surprisingly, the kids acted well-behaved throughout the entire movie! Such a big task for two little boys who are constantly on the go.

After the movie I drove them back to Jimmy's house and the only thing I thought about was "only 4 more days and then they will be home".

Excuses are like buttholes....everyone has one

Garrett has been sick since Friday. Jimmy has been giving him medicine, but it didn’t sound like they were doing any good. I talked to Garrett on the phone yesterday and he sounded miserable. I talked to him again today to wish him a happy birthday and he sounded alittle worse. I finally demanded that Jimmy take him to the doctor. He gives me the “I don’t have the money” song and dance as usual. I told him fine, I’ll deposit the money into your account and I want receipts for the appointment and the medicine.

The appointment = $25
The meds = $20

Naturally I deposit $45 into his account and he says, “Well what about McDonald’s that I just paid for?” WTF?!?! Are you serious dude?

My son

My son. Those two little words are capable of moving mountains in a mother’s life. My son. Two words summoning forth a tidal wave of emotion – a powerful surge of parental love.

My son. The tiny being I carried right under my heart for nine months. I marveled as you made your debut into the world – completely dependent upon my commitment to you, my willingness to care for you, to love you, to help you become the man you were destined to be.

My son. A miniature man dashing through the year, crushing flowers in your hand – delivering me from piles of laundry, a sink full of dishes, unmade beds, and low-vaulted wishes into an expanse of unbridled affection and uninhibited expression. My son. Still needing my affirmation, my understanding, my appreciation, and my respect.

My son. A man in the making, a heart like putty in my hands. My son. A life so vital, so vibrant, so full of promise, just waiting to take flight, assume your independence, fulfill your calling, make your mark, and express your masculine soul.

My son.


* I wish I could claim this as my own, but I can not. This was taken from one of my Mommy calandars that have inspirational quotes and stories. *

"Come to Daddy's house?"

The kids are with Jimmy this week for Spring Break. You would think I would be excited to have the house to myself for the entire week, but instead I'm a little sad. The house is too quiet and I miss them running around.

Last night I called the kids to make sure they were ok. My little Jacob gets on the phone and says, "You come to daddy's house so we can play?" I'm trying to find an explanation while trying not to cry. My response to him was, "No buddy. You go to daddy's house and play with daddy. We will play when you get back home." He gave alittle whine and asked again.

It tore my heart out.

A new job opportunity

Around Novemeber (last year) I applied for a position at our company. 2 weeks go by with no word and I assumed I didn't meet the qualifications for the position. Finally, the manager sends me an email saying:

"Due to low volume of work, this position has been put on hold. I will open it up again, probably at beginning of the second quarter. I will let you know when it opens up. Thank you for your interest."

Today my manager emails me this:

"Melissa, Margie will be contacting you in the next few days regarding the position you applied for last year. I don't know if she is going to offer the job or not, but whatever the two of you decide is OK by me. Just wanted you to know before I left on vacation."

I know for a fact that only one other person applied for this job. She has been at the company for less than a year and honestly I believe I'm the better candidate for the position. My fingers, toes, and eyes are crossed hoping that I am hired for the job.

The escapades of the weekend

So, this weekend the three of us spent the weekend at Chase’s house with Devin. Mind you, I’ve got an ear infection and a sore throat kickin’ and taking heavy meds for it. The re-introduction went great and they were getting along. Just happy to be with “friends”. We fit all three car seats into the SUV and piled in. Garrett and Devin had window seats and poor little Jacob was stuck in the middle. The five of us ran around Saturday morning doing some last minute errands. After the errands were done we went back to the house and the kids got to play. Can you imagine the noise level of 3 excited little boys? Chase and I were doing a lot of “No, don’t do that. Share your toys. Don’t run.” Yada yada yada. Of coarse there were lots of tantrums by us saying “NO”.

It’s about 2 o’clock by now and we are loading up to go to a birthday party. I figure with all the playing, running, jumping, etc that they have done the car would have put all 3 to sleep in an instant. WRONG! Still going strong. We get to the b-day party (which is at the museum) and they did mini tour of the dinosaurs. Yeah, not fun when all the kids are supposed to line up in a line and follow the tour guide. I’m constantly looking for them making sure they haven’t wondered off.

Jacob and Devin (with pizza faces)

Garrett with the fish

5 o’clock and the party is over. Nap time? NOPE! Still wide awake and yelling. We get the brilliant idea to go shopping for some items at Walmart. Shopping with 3 kids? We’re crazy! I won’t go into detail about our experience other than the fact that all of us came out alive. I had my doubts. It was semi late at this point and I’m starving. Nothing quick to make at the house so we stop at Sonic. The kids are STILL yelling and I have a mini meltdown right there in the car. I start crying. Chase is being really sweet saying it’s ok, reassuring me that things will get better, that this is new for all of us, and that things will calm down.

We finally get home, unload the car, and finish eating dinner. Devin says he wants to take a bath with EVERYONE and wants me to wash him. All 3 boys jump in the tub. Note to self: the tub is NOT big enough for all 3 kids. By 8:30 all the kids are in Devin’s room, laying on the floor, and watching a movie. Finally, peace and quiet and one by one they all fall asleep.

I won’t break down the day of Sunday even though we did a lot throughout the day. It was somewhat better than Saturday though. Devin was ready for us to leave when dinner was done. He wasn’t as fond of me and wasn’t in the mood to share his toys anymore.

So, my views of the entire weekend?

1. I want to neuter myself today. What was I thinking? Having another baby? HA!
2. Devin is going to have some boundary issues when we move in.
3. I need to bring lots of headache medicine and earplugs.
4. Chase is an awesome dad.
5. Having 3 kids so close in age could drive someone to drink. Please pass the booze!
6. Chase and I are never going to agree on paint color!

You're Invited

Garrett's 5th birthday is coming up and he decided to have a Ratatouille themed party. I took it upon myself to make his invitations this year. I feel a homemade invite is more personal than a store bought one. It takes alot of time and energy, but it's worth it in the end.