Friday, March 28, 2008

Communication is my downfall

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Right? Hi, my name is Melissa and I can't talk myself out of a brown paper bag if it involves sharing my true feelings with someone I care for. Now everyone responds with, "Hi Melissa" with encouraging acceptance. (Oh what a perfect world I live in.)

After 8 months of solid bliss with Chase, it was bound to happen. *Cue in dooms day music* We had a major fight. Again, I admit that I started the entire thing because I couldn't tell him what was bothering me, and it only escalated after that. He wants me to be brutally honest, no matter what the cost, and I would rather bottle everything up.

It was a screaming, crying, exploding fight that finally ended when we both calmed down and talked about what was going on. Yes, I broke down and told him the things that were upsetting me (that's a step in the right direction). He admitted that he pushes people away before they hurt him. We held each other, cried crocodile tears together, and said the dreaded "I screwed up and I'm sorry".

So, we have some issues to work out together. My communication skills, or lack thereof, and his reaction of pushing people away. At the end of the day, I'm glad I'm able to work through our issues together and not separately. This little bump in the road will only make our relationship stronger.

*Us at Garrett's birthday party


Happy2bme said...

Awe, so sad to hear you fought like that. I also notice in myself that (since my divorce especially) I run before the going gets tough in a relationship. I'm so afraid of feeling that type of hurt again. I'm glad you were able to make amends. That photo of the two if you is a very nice one. You should get it framed.