Devin’s daycare is doing a “school play” on Thursday this week. Over dinner Chase and his parents talked excitedly about going while I sat silently in the corner. That was the first I had heard of any school function; obviously I wasn’t invited to go. I want to be there for Devin, support him in any way I can, be able to take all the pictures I want, and clap along with everyone else. I don’t want to hear second hand of how well he did.
Last night Devin was singing the songs that he was going to perform at the play. After he finished and I gave my round of applause he said “I want you to come and watch me. You have to bring your camera so you can take lots of pictures of me. That’s what all the other parents do.” What do I say to a 4 year old? “I can’t make it buddy. Maybe next time.” That would be a lie because I would be there in a heart beat. Do I tell him the truth? “Sorry, I wasn’t invited and your mom doesn’t want me there.” I decided against that. Instead I simply said “I’d like to go” and left it at that.
I wonder how long it will be before I’m invited to his school functions. I wonder how long it will take to get over the feeling of being an outsider looking in.
Monday, June 2, 2008
The outsider looking in
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1 comments:
This is a hard one and I speak from first hand experience. I remember attending your first dance recital with Granddaddy. Your Grandmommy was also there and it was very uncomfortable for all of us. It was several years before we all got together again. It just takes time. In the meantime, I am sorry for the "left-out" feelings I know you have. Perhaps if you, Chase and his parents talk about it openly, it would help. Acknowledge the situation, say you feel left out but that you understand and that you know that time will take care of this. You certainly handled it well with Devin.
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