Thoughts of becoming a surrogate mother

My good friend Holly has suffered her 3rd miscarriage and finding out the news leaves me HEARTBROKEN! She has tried so hard to have children and every time it has ended miserably. Her bubbly personality is shut down by the pain she is suffering.

I had the chance to talk with her Mom yesterday while picking up the kiddos, and she mentioned the possibility of Holly going through a surrogate mother (her egg and her husband's sperm). I've actually thought about this for several years, not for Holly personally, but just in general. Today I am doing some research; the risks, the benefits, the emotional side effects, medicines needed to be taken, IVF, etc.

The more I read, the more I realize that I'm not entirely 100% ready to make this commitment. Chase and I have talked about having a child together. Don't freak out people I won't be getting pregnant tomorrow. Anyway, I don't want to go through a pregnancy (even if logically I know it is not MY baby) and then turn around to hand it off. I need to deal with the my issues of pregnancy before making a decision.

I guess you could look at my "revelation" as growing up in some aspect. In past years, I would have jumped in without any regard to MY feelings simply for the gratification of someone else. Now, I realize that this also effects me. Maybe one day I will be 100% positive that it is the right decision (if not for Holly but someone else). Maybe a miracle will happen and she will be able to carry a child full-term with the help of a fertility doctor. I praying that happens.