Why can't he be Grandaddy?

My fondest memories growing up consisted of spending time with my grandparents. Going out to dinner, followed by the bookstore, and ending with going to the yogurt shop. Or sitting under the table while my parents and grandparents played dominoes or cards.

Today I set up the arrangements for Jacob's 4th birthday. Because it's only 3 weeks away I sent out "advance invites" to friends and family giving the appropriate information. Later at lunch Mom tells me that my dad has decided not to come to the party. His excuse? "Because it's not his thing". The real reason? He can't drink his beer.

It's makes me extremely mad and sad that he doesn't want to be apart of his grandchildren's lives. My kids would love for him to pay them an ounce of attention, but instead he pushes them away. I've dreamed of my dad being like my Grandaddy; of my kids having the same relationship with my parents as I did with my grandparents.

I realized today that I can not change my dad. My kids can't change their grandfather. My mom can't change her husband. Nobody can change his behavior but HIM. I gave up today on my dreams of my dad being like Grandaddy.